Showing posts with label Lust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lust. Show all posts

Monday, March 08, 2010

SEX AND ART, ART AND SEX:
A Conversation on Lustful Living Under the Influence of Maestros

Venice, Ferrara, Mantua, Milan, RomeImage via Wikipedia


"What's wrong with feeling sexy in a museum?"

- Recent online chat.



My father's brother was an artist, a painter and printmaker.

He died years before I was born, before my parents married, cancer snuffing out his future as a creator of beautiful things before he'd reached a quarter of a century on this planet.

An avid reader, obsessed with not only physical art but that of the written word, he left behind scores of paintings and sketches, a library of some of the world's finest literature.

A gift, I assume, for my father and, by proxy, my father's children - a generational legacy. Guides to the world's finest museums, full of reprints and photographs, art criticisms and histories, poetry collections and fiction in four languages, sacred texts from the world's great religions.

And trust me when I say I took full advantage of the artist uncle's last gift in my childhood.

* * * *

In a way, though I never met my uncle, he probably had just as much influence over my development in death as he would have in life. His notebooks were conversations, his paintings burst ideas upon my brain, his library an education unto itself.

For example, Titian, the High Renaissance maestro, was already a favorite by the time I reached puberty. I first developed an appreciation for the maestro studying my uncle's books on the art of the era. Of course, after reaching puberty, my appreciation for Titian's nude work grew even more - the Venus of Urbino was probably the first woman to seduce me, my first ever object of pure raw lust, years before I lost my virginity.

The second seductress? A painting by Raphael's lustful baker, la Fornarina.

I could list them all, but, well, that would take too long. But I will admit that I do not consider it bragging to admit that for all of my hundreds (yes, hundreds) of sexual experiences in life, I've never been able to shake the feeling that those ancient Europeans instilled in me sense enough to understand that a woman's body is the finest of canvas, that it is not in some maestro's strokes of a brush that art is revealed but in the canvas stroking the brush, creating the artist.

But sexual attraction is but one manifestation of an appreciation, a love, of art. So, too, was I in love with the great Post-Impressionists: Paul Gauguin, with his primitivist depictions of beautiful Tahitians and ancient themes. Henri Matisse, Van Gogh.

It was my uncle, through his enormous collection of reprints of some of the most daring naked women in history, that taught me more about the intertwining of beauty, life, sex, and art than any formal education could ever impart.

* * * *

Needless to say, I was one strange kid.

Hell, I'm one fucking strange-ass adult, for that matter.

But I know a thing or two about beauty.

I learned it through a lust for beautiful things, for fine and performing arts, for poetry and prose, essays, and pure, unadulterated, passionate thought.

And I have an uncle I never knew, who died in a sterile hospital room with cancer-filled body, to thank for that.

- # # # -


Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Monday, June 16, 2008

BEATING THE KOBAYASHI MARUS* OF ONE'S SOUL:
Of Twenty Miles Beneath My Feet and a Hobo's Spirit Inside my Chest

OHIO-INDIANA BORDER (ZP) -- It's amazing the sorts of things that just pop into your head beneath a scorching noonday sun, as one backpacks down the open road, with a rig full of water and books and not much else.

Memories. Daydreams. Tall tales, old ghost stories, even mathematical equations and answerless philosophies.

That's the true beauty of long hikes alone - the solitude of strolling that country road to nowhere, the liberating simplicity of conquering that overgrown deer trail or bike path.

Put twenty miles beneath your feet, and your mind will create for itself a mosaic of thought, painted to the beat of crunching footsteps and to the songs of summertime insects.


As I hit the state line I stopped. I laughed and mumbled something unimportant, put my hands on my hips, with one foot in Ohio and the other in Indiana.

My legs ached, my shoulders and back sunburnt, sweat dripping from every pore.

Glorious.

* * * *

A whiff of honeysuckle blows past my nostrils, and, suddenly, I'm thinking about the farm where I grew up, about skinny-dipping with my sister and cousins in ponds and those long afternoons napping beneath my grandmother's pecan trees...

... And those chirping noonday crickets in the fields full of soybeans and field corn! Alfalfa! Yes! There it is, in that field right over there!...

And Jesus H. Buddha! What about that idiotic summer adventure back in Virginia, when a buddy of mine and I decided to hop a moving Norfolk-Southern boxcar.

We'd planned on riding that train all the way to wherever its rails took us. We made it to Meherrin, one town over, before it stopped and we ran like scared puppies as the brakeman hollered at us...

We wanted to be ten-year-old hobos. And we rode the rails a whopping ten minutes as liberated men.

* * * *

And a hint of pine, intertwined with the fragrance of a thousand and one wildflowers, reminds me of sharing a night (and an abandoned barn) in Big Sur, California, in 1999, with that First Nations backpacker from just north of Vancouver, the first woman I was with after my second engagement failed...

...How I wish, some days, that she'd at least waited until I awoke to say goodbye. I can't even remember her name, but I still remember her scent, like that of the sweetest earth turned into brown flesh...

I really have gone through quite a few women in my time on this planet. As someone recently put it, I go through flings like some fashion-savvy women go through shoes. 'Tis true. And I make no apologies for it, really. It's my nature to just drift about, from pine forests and wildflower fields, and I generally treat the idea of relationships much the same.

But there are still many forests and many flowers in this world...

* * * *

"HEY! ARE-YOU-SURE you don't wanna a ride, son?"

An old farmer pulled up beside me in an equally old pickup, ten minutes after I'd turned off Contreras Pike onto Brookville Road. I hadn't even heard him creeping along behind me in that old, noisy tank of a farm truck. So lost in thought, so embraced by the tranquil solitude of my mind's own mosaic of memory.

I smiled and thanked him for the offer, explained that I was hiking away a Saturday afternoon.

"Well, it's a hot one. S'posed to be in the upper nineties. Sure ya don't wanna ride? Take ya back to Oxford..."

"Nah. It's all good. But thanks for the offer."

And it was just that. All good.

The groin tear didn't bother me, for the first time in almost a year. Even the remaining gristle that comprises my left knee's ACL and MCL held up as if it were still as whole as it was before 2002.

That tiny fleck of stainless steel knife embedded in my hip? Neurological silence. Even the last throes of Mononucleosis-fueled lethargy seemed to have been finally beaten into normal dormancy.

No pain. And nary a cloud in the sky, to my skin's dismay.

All good. As in Holy fucking shit! it's great to be alive!

* * * *

I strolled into West College Corner, Indiana, a mere nine miles, by foot, from my apartment building's stoop, about 45 minutes later. As I crossed the railroad tracks, again I thought of that aborted attempt at being a teenage hobo and laughed to myself.

Too bad I missed the train. Indianapolis is wonderful this time of year... a lot further than Meherrin...

Nine miles. Roughly halfway through my journey. I'd end up hiking more than 2o miles before the sun set on another Saturday.

Life's just good sometimes. And solitude is a divine gift.

* * * *

Country roads and long strides through my nation!
How I've missed you, great Old American Solitude!
A year since I've sought your peaceful counsel,
Since you've caressed my thoughts as wildly
As that burning sun across my naked chest.

A year too long, for men of the road,
Injury and illness be a damnable curse.

- Poetic Fragment, Yours Truly
- # # # -


* For Alexander "Sandy" Courage (1919-2008), Robert Justman (1926-2008), and Joseph Pevney (1911-2008). Those guys inspired whole generations to boldly hike where no man may have hiked before.