Wednesday, June 24, 2009

THE OXFORD (FUCKING OHIO)
DICTIONARY OF QUOTATIONS:
Fucking Insane Library Funding Cuts, Rattled Chains, Fashion Mishaps, & Other Nonsense


"Governor Strickland, in proposing to cut almost a quarter-billion in public library funding, has essentially declared war on intellectual freedom and the public's access to information. Should this budget pass, whole generations of Ohioans will suffer in terms of quality of life, community, and public welfare."

- THE ZENFO PRO,
"Official" library blogger response

To the Ohio Democrat's budget.

Because cutting support to libraries during a recession is akin to cutting police officer salaries during a riot.

* * * *

"What the fuck?!? So is he trying to intentionally make sure Ohio's full of fucking dumb people?"

- AN OXFORD RESIDENT
& PUBLIC LIBRARY PATRON,

Upon hearing about the governor's planned cuts

One of probably a thousand such comments I've heard from folks around the state.

* * * *
Where do bad folks go when they die?
They don't go to heaven where the angels fly
They go down to the lake of fire and fry
Won't see them again till the fourth of July...

- THE MEAT PUPPETS, "Lake of Fire,"
Music and lyrics by C. Kirkwood, 1984

For the record, yes, the United states used to be known for producing great rock music NOT prepackaged by some reality television exec.

* * * *
"Do you hear...chains? I can't stand the sound of chains."

"Dude, that's just your half-black heritage reacting to four hundred years of oppression and slavery."

- BARROOM CONVERSATION,
June 23, Oxford Fucking Ohio
* * * *
"... Goddamn, I used to get an erection flying over Vietnam..."

- MASTER WANE-FU, U.S. Army (Ret.),
June 19, Local watering Hole

I'd tell his Thai hookers in Saigon story, but the man is rumored to be able to kill at fifty yards with only a plastic spoon and a rubber band...

* * * *
"We have a center-right party and a crazy party. And over the last thirty-odd years, Democrats have moved to the right, and the Right has moved into a mental hospital."

- BILL MAHER, opening monologue, June 19,
"Real Time with Bill Maher,"
HBO television series

Couldn't have said it better myself.

* * * *
"California's broke as a motherfucker. In fact, it's so broke it can't afford a mother to fuck, dude."

- ANONYMOUS, May 22,
On life in the Golden State
* * * *
"Well, guys don't seem to get that painting and writing, for me, is the ultimate aphrodisiac. I think art is that way for a lot of women - hey, you stand a better chance with me in a museum or library than a fucking bar."

- LOCAL U. ALUM, Class of 2005
Uptown Oxford, Reunion Weekend

Well, with the threat of even further cuts to Ohio's libraries and museums, guess a lot of guys won't ever get that chance...

* * * *
"You're nowhere near fashionable. You're like the Antichrist of Fashion or something. Do you own anything BUT black tee shirts and jeans?"

- AN UNDERGRAD FASHION CRITIC,
On my wardrobe choices

Black tees and jeans never go out of style. But another undergrad blog lurker's critique of my "denim shorts with Dr. Martens and blue socks" ensemble at work was, well, dead-on...

- # # # -

3 comments:

librarianwoes said...

Well Done Dude!

Oh, and there is NO higher fashion (for a guy anyway) than a black tee and jeans (especially button fly). That's practically my uniform when I'm not @ the Library.

Angel, librarian and educator said...

Wow, seems so radical now: rock music that is not prepackaged and mass produced. As for the library cuts in OH, indeed, like cutting the cops' salaries in a riot. Now more than even people need libraries, and this is the governor's "best idea"? Ay caramba.

As for the other quotes, words with light.

Best, and keep on blogging.

EsotericWombat said...

Amen, Reverend.

How can we have a democracy when the entire political culture is stymied by a pathological need to run a good twenty yards to the right of the Truth to pass for a moderate liberal? And how can we even place the yardlines if we're willing to let the archives of Truth flounder?

This is why we can't have nice things.