Hmm...
How do I describe this gently, subtly...
Um, well, I can't. Sometimes, it's best just to be blunt.
I almost became a quick, relationship-escape-hatch fling for a SEBM (see definition below) . I'm not too proud of the fact. I am, proud, however, that the almost part is more important than the fling part...
Yeah, nothing happened.
SEBM - abbrev., as in Somebody Else's Baby Mama.
Living in a small town is a bitch. Living in a small town where one continuously runs into people better left unseen is a bitch and a half.
But living in a small town and running into someone you'd hoped to never see again is a bitch, three dog farts, and a goat turd all rolled into one.
I'm picking up cigarettes at the filling station tonight. I shoot the shit with the cashier, as I do every time I'm in the place. Walking back to my car, I hear somebody start to honk their horn at the stoplight on the corner.
I glance over quickly. Some girl in a Camaro is waving at somebody...
Who the fuck is she waving at...? I'm the only one here...
Oh fuck.
I wish I hadn't looked.
The hair's different (was jet-black but now has a purplish tint), and I don't remember the lip piercing. I recognize damn near everything else, however.
Now, I could've done the adult thing - I probably should've just waved back, hollered some acceptable salutation back, and backed away slowly.
But no, I had to be a dumbass. I pretended that I didn't recognize the woman behind the wheel of the car, walked back to the ZenFoPromobile, and got the fuck out of Dodge.
I get three blocks before the frigging Camaro's behind me, flashing headlights and, again, more honking.
I pull over in the parking lot of a fast food joint. No clue what to expect. Not sure what to say, really...
What does one say, exactly, to a completely nucking-futs woman who used you as an excuse to break up with a kid's dad? Or told the same guy that we'd been sleeping together for months?
A guy who's been in and out of jail, who may or may not still be a bit pissed.
And I didn't do anything. Nothing happened.
Ya spread a bunch of gossip, make up a bunch of shit, and now you want to have a chat in front of the KFC? You're completely fucked in the head, lady.
For fuck's sake...
The woman gets out of the car and walks over towards my pick-up.
Yup. No mistaken identity on my part...it's "Chase."
Shit.
No mistaken identity...
The woman just stares at me for a few seconds, then apologizes. Said something about thinking I was somebody else. She gets back in her car and drives off.
Okay... I've lost a bit of weight since October and I no longer have the beard I used to grow out every few months or so. My hair's a bit longer, and it's dusk, too.
For once in my life, a completely batshit woman from my past failed to recognize me months later.
Oh, now that's fucking awesome. FUCKING AWESOME!
I laughed, started the pick-up, and kept on trucking to the store to pick up some supplies...
* For a definition Hamiltucky, check out the Urban Dictionary definition.
But living in a small town and running into someone you'd hoped to never see again is a bitch, three dog farts, and a goat turd all rolled into one.
I'm picking up cigarettes at the filling station tonight. I shoot the shit with the cashier, as I do every time I'm in the place. Walking back to my car, I hear somebody start to honk their horn at the stoplight on the corner.
I glance over quickly. Some girl in a Camaro is waving at somebody...
Who the fuck is she waving at...? I'm the only one here...
Oh fuck.
I wish I hadn't looked.
The hair's different (was jet-black but now has a purplish tint), and I don't remember the lip piercing. I recognize damn near everything else, however.
Now, I could've done the adult thing - I probably should've just waved back, hollered some acceptable salutation back, and backed away slowly.
But no, I had to be a dumbass. I pretended that I didn't recognize the woman behind the wheel of the car, walked back to the ZenFoPromobile, and got the fuck out of Dodge.
I get three blocks before the frigging Camaro's behind me, flashing headlights and, again, more honking.
I pull over in the parking lot of a fast food joint. No clue what to expect. Not sure what to say, really...
What does one say, exactly, to a completely nucking-futs woman who used you as an excuse to break up with a kid's dad? Or told the same guy that we'd been sleeping together for months?
A guy who's been in and out of jail, who may or may not still be a bit pissed.
And I didn't do anything. Nothing happened.
Ya spread a bunch of gossip, make up a bunch of shit, and now you want to have a chat in front of the KFC? You're completely fucked in the head, lady.
For fuck's sake...
The woman gets out of the car and walks over towards my pick-up.
Yup. No mistaken identity on my part...it's "Chase."
Shit.
No mistaken identity...
The woman just stares at me for a few seconds, then apologizes. Said something about thinking I was somebody else. She gets back in her car and drives off.
Okay... I've lost a bit of weight since October and I no longer have the beard I used to grow out every few months or so. My hair's a bit longer, and it's dusk, too.
For once in my life, a completely batshit woman from my past failed to recognize me months later.
Oh, now that's fucking awesome. FUCKING AWESOME!
I laughed, started the pick-up, and kept on trucking to the store to pick up some supplies...
* For a definition Hamiltucky, check out the Urban Dictionary definition.
5 comments:
I guess you can consider the fact that you're luck maybe changing. ;)
Chewie said it best. Your life is the plot of a really bad porn movie. Only you can get into these situations. I love you for it but DAMN!!!!!
Only you can stop the insanity!!!!!!
You are right, small towns do suck, I can give you lots of examples for why I think so or can relate... and Its pretty cool she didn't recognize you! That's awesome!
Did you know that you can shorten your long urls with AdFocus and make cash for every click on your shortened links.
Post a Comment