Thursday, December 08, 2005

Seven Tips for Surviving Finals Week...

For those college students gearing up for or in the midst of Final Exam Week:

1. It is possible to overstudy for final examinations. Don't be an idiot; remember to take study breaks and to relax. A break constitutes pushing the books and piles of notes aside, getting up, and getting away from the material for a while - not moping about how much more studying you still have to do.

2. Cramming at the last minute does absolutely no good and is about as worthwile an endeavor as sucking on a chainsaw. Pace your studying and use your time wisely. Honestly, if you start cramming eight hours before an exam, you probably deserve a big F.

3. Remember not to take Higher Education too seriously. Tanking an exam is not the end of the world. A C- in a chemistry class won't keep you out of med school...and if it does, there's always those Central American and Caribbean med schools that take just about everybody.

4. Group study sessions work for some people; solitary studying works for others. Don't get pressured into helping some classmate who wants to make up for ditching a dozen classes. Let him fail. Higher Ed is survival of the fittest, after all...

5. Know Thy Material. Don't worry about what the instructor is looking for, how he/she grades, or how the exam grade will affect your course grade. If you don't know your stuff, you won't pass. Period.

6. Your prof or instructor doesn't really hate you. He/she is not trying to kill you, but there may be some sadistic monkey-torture involved.

7. For essays, please remember that nobody really likes reading 20-30 long-winded diatribes that say absolutely nothing. Write what needs to be written to answer the frigging question. Fluff and froo-froo wording may impress friends, but bullshit answers just waste the instructor's time. Write a strong introduction, a body, and a conclusion. Just answer the question, dammit.

6 comments:

zydeco fish said...

I'll probably never get the vision of someone "sucking on a chainsaw" out of my head now. What an interesting description.

kendra said...

this list is great. i might print it out and give it to every student who comes into the library. people just need perspective.

The Subversive Librarian said...

Great list, and very sound advice. Thanks.

Leigh said...

Thanks Jason...Just in time too! I've got one on Thursday!

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

1. no shit, i like a good gin and tonic in between

2. yeah but it's sooo much fun

3. if I ever got a C i would kill mys .....roommate

4. I want to be alone, group sessions work only with a select few and not with the ones that chew gum like a cow.

5.Indeed

6. Some do but half of them aren't even working now they are enjoying the strike.

7. damn I wish I had read this two years ago.

thanks zenpro you're such a santas little helper. ;0

The ZenFo Pro said...

ZF:
LOL...yeah, pretty vivid imagry. Watched Heathers this weekend and I modified a more graphic visual from a line in that flick.

Kendra:
Hey, thanks for the linkage, chica! Please feel free to redistribute at will. It blows my mind to think there are students who spend more time whining about how college can be and that its too hard. Lol...my response is always the same..."Well, I can drive ya down to the recruiter's office...I'm sure life in occupied Iraq will be much easier."

Those excuses, and the not-having-time-because-of-a-busy-social-life drive me nuts. I worked 40-50 hours a week as a broadcaster at TWO radio stations, took 12 hours per quarter, and had a 30 minute commute to campus my last year as an undergrad - I passed every class. College is only as hard as one makes it.

Sub:
Hey, thanks! Great to see a subversive type floating around here ;)

Leigh:
Hey, best wishes for the final! Remember to breathe in, breathe out. :)

Alice:
LOL...its amazing how many folks forget that. The only thing cramming accomplishes is make a campus full of sleep-deprived zombies tweaked up on caffeine...and it shows in the work turned in. I crammed once before a midterm...the prof wrote on the short essay "next time write in crayon...see me...incoherant mess...5 pts" out of 25. I was heartbroken, but when I went to the prof's office, he knocked it up 15 points just because I proved verbally that I knew what I was talking about. Haven't crammed since.

A C? Its just a letter in the alphabet. Don't put so much pressure on yourself, hon. Its just college....if ya tank, ya tank. And as for the ones who chew gum like a cow...yeah, academic natural selection usually weeds them out.

Santa's little helper?!? Um...ya mixed up the letters...SATAN's little helper sounds so much cooler ;)
Good luck to you too!