Saturday, October 01, 2005

Probably not the Best Guy for the Job:
A bulk response to several e-mails...

I get home tonight and I see I have 34 new messages in my Thunderbird account, some of which are spam, some of which are work related, and some of which are personal.

I have 22 messages in my inbox, however, from people locally (can tell by the local .EDU addresses) concerning previous posts about what happened last Friday.

First, thanks for reading. I appreciate the traffic and the e-mails. Please feel free to post a comment or two at anytime. And make sure you also stop by the other sites listed in the left-hand column. There's a lot of awesome people floating out there in cyberspace. I realize that several posts contain what could be considered adult content and may be offensive to some folks.

Second, I think I need to address some common misconceptions that seem to be floating out there about me. While most of the e-mails were were sharing similar tales (I had several guys and gals recount similar stories about excessive drunkeness and "rescues" by friends similar to my "I Don't Do..." posts), I've also received the most random of e-mails from folks, claiming they spotted me in Kroger on my cell or saw me in a local coffee shop. I'm not sure if people are seeing me or some bizarre Zenfo Pro version of Dead Elvis.

I'm going to try to answer all of these inquiries in one post. If you e-mailed me yesterday or today privately, hopefully I'll have your questions answered somewhere below.

First, I am neither a "hottie" nor am I some kind of role model - though I appreciate the compliments. I'm an average, everyday joe. I'd like to think more people are willing to help out their fellow human beings. I have my own insecurities, as do most people. If you have to ask if I was the guy who dropped off your intoxicated roomie, then it probably wasn't me.

I don't have much in the way of romantic advice to offer. Guys, for the most part, when it comes to understanding what women want, I'm as much in the dark as you are, if not more so. If you're having relationship problems, well, I'm the last person you should ask for advice.

And ladies, I'm not the least bit qualified to answer questions regarding sexual morality issues or the keys to romance. I'm nowhere near being an authority on relationships, I'm not some knight in shining armor cruising Oxford saving drunk girls, and I was never a member of a fraternity. Are there good guys out there? Sure. Am I a good guy? Hell if I know.

Second, if you e-mailed me directly regarding sexual encounters that included blackouts, brownouts, or other stuff, again, I'm probably not the best person to talk to about these experiences. If you think some guy took advantage of you while you were at a party, don't hang out with that guy. If you think your roommate took advantage of some girl at a party, well, confront him on it. And don't EVER, EVER, EVER drink jungle juice out of a community punch bowl at a college party.

I'm not least I don't think I'm cute. No, I don't have a girlfriend, I'm not married, and I'm not actively looking to hook up with anyone. I don't go on too many dates - I'm kind of boring. And as much as I wish I could give a definitive answer, I have no idea what I'm looking for in a woman. I don't really have a "type."

Hope that answers any questions. I hope my answers aren't too blunt and I apologize for not answering everyone's e-mail individually. Didn't really expect this kind of reaction to simply helping somebody out.

Much love,
The Zenformation Professional


Anonymous said...

Boring my ass! I've been to waaayy too many parties here in oxford where people were more worried about beer fucking pong than making sure everybody who comes to a party gets home safe. i've had creepy ass guys follow me home from parties, drunk idiots get aggressive at bars and had friends sexually harrassed here. thanks on behalf of all reasonable rational girls here at miami - its nice to know there are decent guys around who do the right thing unstead of thinking with their dicks. and you're probably cuter than you think too ;)

Anonymous said...

BTW i'm one of those ppl who e-mailed you. answers a lot of my questions hope it does for other ppl as well. too bad youre not looking for a gf...i'd love to set you up with my friend lisa (she's very cute and likes the same music.)

Anonymous said...

Gotta love it when people get the message ... sheesh.

Yeah, I know, that's harsh. What can I say? I'm a bitch. ;-)

The ZenFo Pro said...

You're very welcome.And thanks for the e-mail.I've noticed a lot of guys here seem to get overly aggressive, esp. in places like Brick Street.

LOL. Its all good, baby.

renee said...

The only emails I get are lately are from people trying to sell me penis pumps. Go figure.

Sounds like you had an interesting week. I find in Oxford that sometimes it is best to just stay inside (but even then, trouble always seems to come my way...)

Good luck with your adoring fans!

The ZenFo Pro said...

LOL, Renee. Like I said, I guess it struck a nerve. Adoring fans? LOL.

Saw your posts on bpNichol and all the computer problems. It think its been a really random week for a lot of folks. Some wierd planetary alignment thing, I figure. Maybe a streak of bad luck?

Oxford is a pretty surreal place - more a fashion plate than a college town. I actually prefer to stay inside myself most nights. When I do go out, its usually to one or two different places here in town. There really aren't any cool little bistros or cultural institutions, just bars, tanning salons, sub shops, and wal-mart.

Most of the e-mails I recieved were actually positive - from guys and gals who felt embarrassed to admit they'd had similar experiences. Part of the culture here seems to be tied to way too much excessive alcohol and substance abuse - I wonder how many here graduate right into AA programs or rehab.

As for penis, get a ton of those myself. As well as the breast enlargement cream ads. And Nigerian e-mail scams.

Kara said...

Again, I ask myself why I am still here in Oxford. When, I am reminded once again, that I am here to study. Is this a lost concept? I am aware that my all-consuming fall into the black hole of academia may not be the most balanced, but I think it's probably better for me than aspiriing to remix the unoriginal drunken memiors. I am not better than anyone else here, but I still think it's sad. With all of the focus on business, marketing and manipulation, it seems that the majority has only succeeded in selling itself short. Funny, you'd think that increased awareness of these tactics would keep them from buying into this ridiculous bill of goods. Instead, they have come to accept manipulation as a necessary part of life. On behalf of all disenchanted students and flustered residents of Oxford, THANK YOU! Many of may never understand, but you never know when you may be planting a seed.

On a personal note, I have seen you three times in the past month (I have only seen Elvis twice;). Twice I was walking home while trying not to toss my cookies (I have been sick for the past two weeks), and once at King when I was busting my tail to catch up on studies (with earplugs) near Harrison. I waived once, but you were talking on phone, so I don't think you even saw me (I don't think...) Anyway, I hope you are well, and I apologize for the terrible correspondence.

Lata Gata
~Kara (Yes, she lives!)

Anonymous said...

Jas, maybe you need to find a nice job in St. Louis.

As my husband likes to say, "I am not my dick." I think it should be tattooed on every man right above the pubic hair, preferable upside down so they can read it.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

ha ha, I thought I got weird email.

Indeed ms monkeything, upside down so they can read it; that is assuming they know how ot read.

The ZenFo Pro said...

Hey chica! Sorry I missed ya! Hope you're feeling better, too. I got your v-mail but I've been trying to play catch-up on quite a bit of stuff. Been in my own little world lately :( And you're welcome.

Oooo...StL sounds really good right now. LOL...I hope I'm more than my penis. However, I will refrain from any tattoos at the beltline ; )

Hehehe...was that an illiteracy crack at the expense of a ... librarian?!? Coolness.

Katherine said...

why does this not shock me? kara i so like feel your pain :( i went to one party at MU last fall...was bored to tears 'cause it was nothing but people getting conversation, no quiet moments...they made me feel like such an outsider because i go to school two hours away and i'm a minority. my then-bf told me that's just what miami students do. i can't imagine being there as a student.

Anonymous said...

I've been adjunct here for more than five years. I still find it hard to understand why so many in this community feel that students somehow have no accountability for their actions. I know there are numerous complaints against these kinds of behavior and I see and hear its effects in the classroom.

On a much lighter note, Jasoba, maybe you can take some small comfort in the fact that you at least get questions regarding your social life as well as your professional life. While I have several students that I find to be stellar examples of the kind of behavior you demonstrated in helping that young woman and the risks associated with action, there are still more who need reminders of what basic human compassion is. Excessive drinking, eating disorders, and the quest for popularity is nowhere near as important as having a solid intellectual foundation.

A very well-written web site, indeed.

Smurf said...

Boring? No, my friend you are the furthest from boring I know! I ADORE to just sit and chat with you. You are very brutally honest and meek with yourself. You sound almost down. If you ever want to talk. You know my number. I love you!!!