Wednesday, April 08, 2009

THE OXFORD (FUCKING OHIO)
DICTIONARY OF QUOTATIONS:
Politics, Philosophy, Obscenities, Baseball, Sex, Virgins, White People, Economics...


"The revolution will not be televised, but it may be hungover the next morning."


- THE ZENFO PRO, April 2,
During a conversation at a bar

Amazing how alcohol can foster discussions about Marxism, Economy, Anarchism,Classical liberalism vs. Rousseau-esque points of philosophical individualism, Capitalism, Mutualism, Federalism, Jeffersonian ideals, Trotskyism...

Heh. Story of my life lately.

* * * *
"The problem with mass protests like [the G20 Protests] in London and [the NATO protests] is that half the folks who show up think there's such a thing as a bloody football riot for peace or circus sideshow for progress..."

- Fellow round-table participant,
At a recent "Anti-Conference"
Um, yeah. The biggest issue with mass protests is that they don't necessarily foster mass resistance to established policies in meaningful ways, often reinforce stereotypes of small-s solidarity by refusing to do anything more than wave a few signs for the cameras and brick a few windows to intentionally force the hand of an equally exploited-by-the-system police force...

* * * *

"So when are you going to quit being such a whore and hooking up with eighteen-year-olds?"

- HAMPSTER McSPACY,
Female friend, March 30,
Over usual lunchtime discussion topics

C'mon... I haven't slept with an eighteen-year-old in months. It's not like I go trolling for young women - it was my 30th birthday and, well, the Big Three-Oh does lead guys to make some bad calls.

* * * *
"Mom, THIS is Oxford's OMG BADASS librarian, the blogger guy Dad likes! He's like a [Local U] legend."

- TINY LIL GREEK, March 27,
Introducing me to her mom during
a Sorority Mom Weekend

I guess blogging for five years was bound to have some interesting side effects. Let me tell you, it is a very humbling experience to be introduced to an undergrad's mother, only to have the mother critique your "anti-conservative" influence on her traditionally Republican family AND buy you a round.

* * * *
“This crisis was caused by the irrational behavior of white people with blue eyes, who before the crisis appeared to know everything and now demonstrate that they know nothing.”

- LUIZ INACIO LULA de SILVA,
Brazilian President, March 26, London,
On who crashed the Global Economy

Well, it ain't like El Salvadorans, Algerians, or Mongolians were investing millions in overpriced Florida and California real estate, or buying into Ponzi schemes...

* * * *
"I AM.... SENOR BUKKAKE!"

- The strangest thing I've ever heard
a COMPLETELY SOBER FRAT KID
yell across a street at a woman

* * * *
"Economists are educated more in what doesn't or used to work than what will work today or tomorrow. It's like our policy is in the hands of everybody who ever failed a freshman econ class."

- FLEX FURY, economist, April 4,
On how our "the best American minds"
are "solving" the global recession

Said while Flex was rather lit up on Jägermeister. And it makes sense on so many levels.

* * * *
"At what point does a girl give up and buy stock in vibrators? Like seriously? All guys want is...ugh... pussy and a place to sleep."

- UNHAPPY SINGLE GIRL,
March 21, Hamilton, Ohio

Well, not all guys...

* * * *
"You have a marvelous virgin."

- HILLARY CLINTON, U.S. Secretary of State,
During a recent diplomatic mission to Mexico

No comment. Actually, still choking on my coffee. Hold on...

* * * *
"Age is like the ultimate creeper, dude. It follows you around, acting sketchy, and freaks you out at night when you think about it."

- VERY WISE SECOND-YEAR UNDERGRAD,
April 2, on why she's not as excited as her
friends at the thought of turning 21...

* * * *
"As the Reds go, so too goes Cincinnati. And as the Indians go... Cleveland will probably just set Lake Erie on fire again."

- ANONYMOUS, April 6,
On the start of the baseball season
for both of Ohio's major league teams.

You know, if there's one thing I love about Ohio, it's the wit, dedication, and warmth of the state's sports fans. Some of the best in North America...

- # # # -


5 comments:

Angel, librarian and educator said...

Oh, the senor bukkake thing just cracked me up. Wonder if he knew what he was saying? Kind of like certain conservatives saying they are teabagging to protest certain new economic policies. They think they mean a protest like the Boston Tea Party, but we know better and laugh.

And that Flex Fury guy has a point.

And hey, the girl should be buying stock in vibrators and similar. That industry is bound to grow (no pun intended).

Great quotes collection. I had a laugh or two as well.

Best, and keep on blogging.

EsotericWombat said...

As I can see it, the major upside to Clinton as Secretary of State is the fact that someone with a thirst for the spotlight as big as hers would never let the State Department fade into the background the way it did under Powell and Rice.

The Subversive Librarian said...

Wonderful to see you thriving in the blogosphere! Yeah, I'm back.

The ZenFo Pro said...

Angel:
Heh, I still have no friggin' clue what the kid was thinking...

Hey, when the economy tanks, well, it's good to invest in vice goods - I mean, since the Recession started, it's damned hard to find ammo in gun stores...

Wombat:
Oh yeah, that thirst for the spotlight thing in high levels of government has worked WONDERFULLY over the last 50 years for the American people... McNamara, Haig, Brzezinski, Liddy, Reno, Ashcroft, Cheney, Rumsfeld...

Subversive:
Hey chica! Glad to see you're back! Thanks!

YogaforCynics said...

I can't think of a better reason for living than to have an "'anti-conservative' influence on somebody's traditionally Republican family.

As for the Revolution being hungover...ain't that the history of the past few centuries. I remember reading negative reviews of the movie Reds talking about how it started out so groundbreaking and energetic and ended up the same old stale crap--what could be more appropriate for a movie about the Russian Revolution?

And yet...I have no idea what would consitute a "marvelous virgin"...though I guess Hillary would know if anybody does....(I have no idea what I meant by that).

This is my first visit to your blog...best I've seen in a while. I'll be back to leave more inane comments...especially if I keep getting word verifications like "jejusnog."