Sunday, November 12, 2006

BOOZE AND BLASPHEMERS:
Reading Cards in a Bar, Conjuring the Devil, and The Sermon by the Urinal

So I spent Friday night reading cards in a local bar for a few friends.

Cards. As in tarot cards.

It's been way too long since I whipped out the ol' Rider deck, the Belgian imprint some Dianic Wiccan bookshop owner gave me back in California.

I'm good at it, actually. So good, in fact, that I've taught other folks how to do it. I've been reading cards now for more than 10 years.

Hell, don't ask me. Gave up trying to figure out the whole mystic -hidden- psychic- abilities thing a years ago. And I've only had maybe a dozen totally-off readings in a decade. There's nothing supernatural about the whole act; for some reason things just pop into my head when I'm looking at a spread.

Honestly, I'm a cynic when it comes to most paranormal shit. I've never been to a RenFest, have yet to read a single novel containing dragons, and I tend to believe that people who claim they've abducted by aliens need to share whatever they're smoking. Of course, I have a gris-gris I keep in my apartment, I whistle walking past cemeteries, and I still want to try to catch a glimpse of Oxford's legendary Phantom Rider.

So sue me. I'm a complex guy...

* * * *

I somehow managed to creep out at least a few of the more conservative fundamentalist types with my little display. An older guy apparently told one of the servers that he had to leave because he was a Baptist - Baptists aren't allowed to witness such things.

This same guy brought a Chucky doll and a noose into the bar for Halloween. The doll is still strung up by the neck, hanged from an antique bugle above the liquor.

Note to self...

Reading tarot cards for former local football heroes and other folks is an Act of the Devil.

Hanging a replica of a serial-killing toy is, however, acceptable Baptist behavior around these parts.

Got it.

* * * *

A younger woman was fascinated by my apparent skill at basically interpreting symbols and somehow matching my interpretations to random folks.

She casts runes and does her own astrological charts.

She and I talked off and on for a few hours. Metaphysics, ex-fiances, and local politics.

Interesting conversation.

* * * *

On a trip to the can, a drunk fratboy told me that he thought that reading cards was against God, but, well, if it gets you pussy its okay.

Yup. Nothing like the steel-willed moral fortitude of an obvious deep thinker to make one's evening. His Yoda-like wisdom was coupled with his ability to somehow piss down the front of his pants while trying to send a text message.

One phrase comes to mind...

Hand-eye coordination.
* * * *

It's amazing what sorts of strange things one can witness here in Oxford Fucking Ohio.

Um...

Yeah.

# # #

12 comments:

Miz BoheMia said...

Ooooh! A tarot card reader? Watch out about fessing up to it here because certain bohemians may want to know a thing or two, and get a reading, and know if this damn house will sell and... *hint, hint* :-)

;-P

As for Sascha Baron Cohen... Lovebroy and I have been diehard fans of the man since his early days... the movie was brilliant and all I would say is that the acted parts were not necessary as he strikes gold when interacting with real people... as for his work... MY GOD he is amazing! No preaching, no lecturing but instead, he jumps into the thick of things and brings out what most people hide so well to be PC out of people in NO time... and that takes a huge amount of skill and intelligence. He actually is quite the educated guy, which supports what I am saying. I bow before the man and just LOVE his work!

He also has this gay character he does as well as Ali G and they are both brilliant... I think we own everything of his out there to download! Oy! Bad bohemians, I know, but what you gonna do when stuck in Spain????

Which brings me back to the cards... ha, ha, haaaa!

No, seriously!

Jinnet said...

Yeah, we definitely have to meet up sometime. The boy does Tarot, I do palmistry (at least, I used to - I'm out of practice) and we've gotten pretty good at creeping people out with our interpretations (accidentally, of course). ;)

xmichra said...

see, you are lucky that reading cards in Ohio doesn't get you arrested. Does here. Mind you, you are not alowed to "play" any nature of cards or dice in a bar or eatery.. for gambling i am told. But i think it is the fun police taking away rights. gah.

I just had my cards read by Karma, and they were eerily on que. We will see for the future card though..lol..

Angel, librarian and educator said...

Had no idea you read cards. I guess further proof that librarians are indeed talented and diverse. So, I have to jot that down as well. Reading cards: act of the devil. Hanging Chucky by the neck: Good wholesome Baptist act. I am going for the cards.

Best, and keep on blogging.

Smurf said...

lol... Complexity... runs rampant in the human mind. ;) We all have a bit of cynism in things ... I tend to lean closer to you on the whole alien thing. When cynism in faith becomes a problem, in my opinion is when it contradicts the very thing you are claiming to believe. One thing I can think of off the top of my head is the whole Jesus thing. How can one honestly say He is a good man and He might know God, or that they believe in Him if they do not believe what He says. "I am the way the truth and the life, no man comes to the father except through me." "I am the great I AM." *shrugs* anyways... *hugs* Interesting post.

xmichra said...

Smurf - I can beleive that you are 'real' and not a cyberspace program. Doesn't mean i beleive what you say, or trust it to be something of the spark.

It is very hard to doubt the existance of Jesus. It is the message and folk lore surounding his existance that is in speculation. His existance is documented in more than one place. And he was a good man (from his acts of charity documented in more than one source). the rest is up to ones self to decide.

not trying to pick a fight. I was just saying.

pia said...

I'm supposed to be psychic. I have the Crowley Rider deck, Tarot of the Spirit, and my favorite, Visconti Sforza Tarocchi

I was trained not to really read the cards but to use them as a guideline or an object, and to sleep with a deck wrapped in pink silk, but uh, I forget

I don't enjoy doing it. Gives me a headache

And my friends would drive me crazy demanding readings though we all know you can't read somebody you know

I prefer to think of it as learned intutition. My father used to levitate tables--my Mom made him stop

When my b-i-l threw out my Dad's ouija board, it hurt him so badly he needed a stitch. My sister and I thought that just

Life actually does sound exciting in Oxford

Smurf said...

xmichra - You know that is the best answer to that I have ever heard to that question. I totally respect people's opinions on their faith or lack of. (I have known J for about 10 years and he and I have often discussed many things about religions in general.) But For me certain things don't make sense how someone can say something about belief or believing in Him without believing what he says and like I said, your response is the most logical and best answer I have heard. :)

Smurf said...

Pia- I have a friend who doesn't tell people about his psychic abilities for that reason.. he doesn't want people to bother him for it... and I am glad to hear someone else say you can't read people close to you. I had heard that before, but this guy I am refering to before didn't know anything about it. Interesting.

(I have never read Tarot but have friends that do. I am psychic in certain ways as well... But when I am saying psychic, I only mean that I have the gift if you want to call it of premonitions and dreams and other things that let me know the future before it happens.)

xmichra said...

smurf - i am glad you took that the right way. I often find I am in your sittuation when dealing with the understanding of beleif vs message regarding religion.

I do not beleive in god, but i have no doubt that jesus existed. So, to me, that is the only way i can explain that without it getting to... big. lol....

alice said...

hum, not into tarot, my rm in ny is though.

Anomie-Atlanta said...

You should have told that frat boy that you fortold he would never hook up with a woman possessing an IQ higher than a German Shepherd.