Tuesday, March 28, 2006

And Now for Something Completely Different...

Since everybody seems to be writing about food ... including the more nauseating aspects of cuisine (Miz. B, Cowgirl, Cooper, Smurf, Kendra, Seize the Nite, Rochelle, et al.), I decided to add my own contribution.

Behold! The most nauseating culinary disaster known to the ZenFo Pro...


A microwavable beef-and-cheese burrito,
smothered with applesauce and cottage cheese.

This is what the ZenFo Father calls a healthy, well-balanced meal. Prior to consumption, Dad will usually chop the burrito into pieces, swirl the whole concoction into a pudding-like substance, top with salsa, pickles, and/or ketchup.

It's painful to watch. He's been doing it since my family bought its first microwave back in the 1980s.

Don't bother asking me why. We've asked him and have never gotten an answer. We've begged him not to do it in front of company.

What can ya do? Different strokes...

My sister sent this to me Monday- a complete waste of both bandwidth and good information technologies. It is, however, rather amusing.

Is it just me, or did virtually everyone in cyberspace decide that March would be Food Posting Month?


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13 comments:

kendra said...

gross. the imagined smells and textures alone are making me ill. thanks for giving me the motivation to finish the most boring bibliography ever.

EsotericWombat said...

Most disgusting? Spoken like a man who has never heard of hippie scop. You know what? I'll throw down for this one. be right back.

Cat. said...

I posted no food photos this month, and I don't think I talked about anything particularly foody.

How on earth can you even be in the house when your dad creates and/or eats this??

Yaaack.

Ms. Monkeythong said...

Ew.

My husband eats waffles with peanut butter and maple syrup. It's really yummy, but I can't tell you how many people I know say, "Ew!" To each their own.

For me, any combination of fruit and cottage cheese is disgusting. Cottage cheese gets salt and pepper. Period.

The ZenFo Pro said...

Kendra:
Ack! Bibliographies! Lol...I REALLY hope its at least annotated.

I showed a person I work with this photo. She almost hacked in my office...

Wombat:
Hippie scop? Or soup?

Did you hit the head or something ;)

Throw down, brother.

Cat:
Lol...I was feeling so...left out, so alone in the world ;)

It's just amazing to me the number of folks on my blogroll who happened to post about food in the same timeframe.

Is there some kind of collective Blog Consciousness at work? Hmmm...

As in:
We are the Blog. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated...

My dad's been teased about this for years. His other habit? Tuna fish and pork-and-beans...boiled together.

MM:
Your hubbie's habit doesn't sound that bad. I get crap for eating molasses on biscuits, or putting salt on my watermellon, or my fondness for fried okra...

You're right. To each their own.

EsotericWombat said...

Ok, so I have a skewed concept of "right back." Probably derived from when my ex said, "I'll be right back" and I never heard from nor saw her again.

kidding

it's scop. Hippie soup is more and more a rarity as locating a strung-out comatose hippie to drag away used to be a lot easier. Never know quite what sort of buzz you get with that stuff.

Anyways, my contribution can be found here

Cowgirl said...

I love fried okra. I don't put salt on my watermelon, but I do on cantalope.

Salt and pepper are my friends.

I grew up with a big garden, and a whole field of sweet corn, so I a love veggies. Pumpkin blossoms are yummy. I also love fried green tomatoes. And I can eat sliced ripe tomatoes with a little bit of cottage cheese and be a happy camper.

Ms. Monkeythong said...

Ooh, fried okra! Know what's even better? Pickled okra! Yum! But I'm the only one in the fambly that will eat it. Oh well, more for me!

Tomatoes are acceptable companions to cottage cheese, even if they are, technically, a fruit. But they aren't sweet, so they don't count :-)

Let said...

Is that the picture before consumption or after?

The ZenFo Pro said...

Wombat:
Lol. Seriously, I thought you weren't kidding about the ex-gf.

I read your link. You definitely have me beat.

Damn, that's disgusting.

Cowgirl:
See, it's a rural thing. Cityfolk just don't understand ;)

MM:
Lol...pickled?!? I've tried it, but not one of my favorites :)

Let:
Sadly, before. Given Dad's diet I don't think he actually has a digestive system. He once ate a tablespoon of cracked red pepper. Nothing else...just the cracked red pepper. And the canned tuna and black olives...argh!

Smurf said...

I am not sure why everyone was posting about food but the foods I was posting about were Easter ones. Easter is just around the corner and I really like some of the artistic recipes. Now with my diet regimin I cant eat a lot of it, but its fun to let the kids have. I am teaching moderation and portion sizes. Its actually fairly interesting. I myself am back on the bandwagon... lol not really but am back at zapping and conquering the battle of the bulge. So much has changed in the three weeks since I have not lived with Joel. Today my mom and I went to town to get a present for the babyshower for my nephews baby. She mentioned that she has noticed how stable the kids and I have seemed since we have moved in with them. I take care of them and do the dishes and stuff, the kids and I share one small room, but... its hard to explain... I am doing the tangent thing.. but anyways.. yea... back to food and posting... in March.. its probably to do with either Easter or dieting... eh?

Chewie said...

i remember when i went up to the ft. with you one day.. and you dad was sitting there eating it... it was definatly one hell of an experience..

but i think kfig & smurf will say it is nothing compared to our one discussion of blood goat placentas while eating spaggetti and meatballs :-D

Let said...

So glad I don't have to kiss your daddy, Zen... yikes!