Wednesday, February 01, 2006

THE ZENFO PRO IS NOT IN RIGHT NOW, SO PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE:
When Duty Calls, Life Can Get Interesting

Let me be the first to say that, while I enjoy my job, sometimes work sucks.

Deadlines suck.

Double and triple booking yourself by mistake sucks.

Over-extending yourself sucks.

Realizing that those "weeks" ago you planned on asking this one woman out has become two monthsand that she has since rekindled her relationship with the ol' boyfriend....sucks.

Being single and a professional in this town...sucks.

Missing your chance, then realizing you have a professional function to attend after said shot-down-in-flames moment, one that requires a shower, sportscoat, and a quick shave....really sucks.


* * * *

A girl came up to me today at work. She just stared at me, squinting. I'm smoking a cigarette, trying to enjoy the brief foray into sunshine, patrons hurrying in and out of my library.

And she just stares at me.

For five minutes.

The girl looked really pissed. No clue who it is.

I finish, walk back into the building. She follows me into the elevator. I figure I'm either going to get beaten to death with Uggs or simply continue to be gassed by her excessive perfume.

Then she asks me, finally, why I quit calling her and if I'd gotten back with some sorority girl named Lisa. She tells me she's okay with that, she's moved on with her life, and she's been sleeping with my roommate to get back at me.

One, I don't have a roommate. Two, I was sure I'd never met this woman before in my life.

I got off the elevator on my floor and I could just feel eyes burning a hole through my skull.

When I got back to my office, I realized that I had indeed met her before. I had to go back into my November archives to match the face....

If I ever meet my doppelganger in this here tiny town, I'm kicking his ass.

* * * *

Three students have invited me to something called the Charter Ball.

What the hell is a charter ball?

And why have the last four e-mails I've received been from different girls whose first names all end in the letter i?


* * * *


Need to give a shout-out to Alice for the online chat the other night. It really cheered me up. That has actually been the highlight of my week.

See. There are folks who know how to play nice with Yahoo! IM. Even if they don't like it.




12 comments:

shayna said...

Yeah... sometimes the whirl-wind we call life does suck... hope your sucky days turn a little better...

The elevator deal kind of weird! ;)

I have no clue what a Charter Ball is... sorry I'm no help! ;(

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

ah i hate shitty spelling.

Hope your week is going better than mine.

stop smoking.

The ZenFo Pro said...

Shayna:
Thanks, chica. It actually helped a bit just to let it out :)

I googled he Charter Ball this morning. Aparently, it's some big formal thing at Miami. I turned down the offers, too, because having a total stranger ask me to the college equivilent of a prom via e-mail is, yeah, not so appealing.

Elevator thing was so wierd. This guy Keith must be quite a bastard; I've even had a few coworkers mention they've seen "me" in places I've never been.

Alice:
Shitty spelling? Naw. All good, chica.

Yeah, I think this Year of the Dog thing is causing some kind of cosmic cruddiness right now.

Um....eventually :)

kendra said...

i think you're right about the year of the dog thing, which is weird since i'm a dog. (both literally and figuratively.) i know this week has been nothing but stress with frustration and feelings of inadequacy at work, translating over to home. i wonder if it's just that time in the semester where the honeymoon is over?

Smurf said...

Carpe diem, for we are never guaranteed tomorrow...this is a big phrase that keeps running through my head lately. Cool post.

SeizeTheNite said...

I'm glad to hear you escaped from the Uggs and the perfume unharmed.

Have you found an outfit for the Charter Ball yet?
:)

Miz BoheMia said...

Oh no! Be hopeful people that the year of the dog is a good one!!! My last 2 were crap and this one needs to be great... *bohemian turning blinders on to the alternative*

Mr. Z! What adventures you have! If anything, this doppelganger definitely makes your life more interesting! I am intrigued!

Yeah, watch out for those Uggs! Chicks, anger and Uggs are not a good combo... next time... run!

Miz BoheMia said...

I just got your comment over at my place. Thank you Zenfo. I am sorry to hear that you have an abusive past too. I wish you didn't but hey, you seemed to have conquered most of your demons and turned out beautifully. Boho smooches comin' your way!

LibraryTavern Liz said...

Jason,

These things only happen to you.

Ogbuefi Stephi said...

wait, so does this mean i can expect to see you at the charter day ball?

hahaha, this is gonna be great!

i also got suckered in to going.

at least i'll have miserable company, yeah?

The ZenFo Pro said...

Kendra:
Yeah, this year of the dog thing does seem to suck. I'm technically a horse, so it should turn out okay in the end. Who are you calling a dog, btw? Hey, I downloaded all of your songs! It could be academic cruddiness (since you and I work in similar environs), but I'm starting to think there's a voodoo doll out there with my name on it.

Leave work stuff at work. That's my new motto :)

Smurf:
Hwey chica, thanks! I need to have that saying tattooed on my forehead.

STN:
You know, the reason I read your blog is because you are one of my favorite fellow Uggs haters ;) Who the hell called this cool shit? Every girl and her mother ends up looking like four-year-olds.

Re: charter ball...smartass ;)

MizB.:
Adventures? You can have em, chica ;)

No seriously...thanks. I appreciate it. And the advice. And you are very welcome :)

Liz:
Yup. I cblame it on bad luck...something that runs in my family...

OS:
Oh, no! Not going...turned down the offers, because they were blog related, and, yeah, pretty sure that would get me in a bit of trouble :)

Don't be miserable, though. If you're up to it, blow off your date and we'll go adventure-seeking through the Oxford jungle ;)