Whenever it gets cold, overcast, with snow flurries, etc., my natural instinct is to get a bit depressed. Ohio winter is a constant reminder that I no longer have the luxury of Southeast Louisiana winter (where frost makes the nightly news as a major event) or Southern California winter (San Diego kids in polar outfits when the weather hits 60 degrees or so).
To combat the arrival-of-a-nasty-cold-front blues, I tried to add a little cheekiness to my anything-but-normal work routine. Sang songs in the stairwells, complimented several folks on their work, hair, things I don't normally do. I get that bizarre tendency to be chipper at inappropriate times from my grandmother...
Part of my chipperness is probably the result of external forces. Somebody made a comment while I was getting coffee this morning assuming that I was seeing somebody that I was not. Caught me completely off-guard, but the idea that somebody would even vaguely think that somebody like this girl and I would be romantically linked was so insane (there's no way in hell such a normal, smart, sweet person would be ever involved with a dumbass palooka like myself) but flattering nonetheless.
For those unaware, or who have some kind of bizarre image of me as being some kind of ladies man or something, well, jeez...I'm kind of lame. Really. And I gots me some baggage - designer baggage, at that. And I read too much.
But there's nothing like being imaginarily linked to someone way out of your league to make a dreary day seem a bit nicer...
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Due to my changing job responsibilities and numerous serious personal
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14 years ago
12 comments:
Okay, dude - I can personally promise you that you're not lame. not even close. Why the fuck *wouldn't* you think a nice girl would be interested in you???? Err...what's a palooka?
Chipper? LOL! There's a problem with that? Your grandmother must've been a wise woman. And yah snow stinks, but the indian summer was awesome!
What is a dumbass palooka?
Must be a southern or midwestern expression I've never heard it. :)
Leagues are just in peoples minds...and ya know I've gone out with enough people who don't read to know that sometimes the reader wins............... as long as the baggage is designer of course. ;)
Hey dude, I feel the same way this time of year. Similar weather, got down, to the point where I just took a day and half off from the office. Fuck it. Needed to clear my head.
We're all lame in our own minds, and to some people, but we're also seen as really cool by others. My tendency towards those who think I'm some cool dude is to figure they must be quite lame to think that, but when my head clears a bit, I see that everyone's view is just that - their own view based on the difference we've made to them. Might as well enjoy it, even if we can't quite see it.
As for the whole leagues thing, ahh, fuck it, dude. Keep your eyes on what it is you want, and forget about what anyone else has to say. All that matters is that you find what you want - who cares what "league" someone says that might be in? As someone above pointed out, the hell is a "league" anyway? Just another ratings system based on large breasts and excessive make-up? Fuck that cliquey shit.
Never seen/felt winter so I don't have any idea how depressing it is. But as lupe said, you're not at all lame. In face with the qualities you have (as I read on your blog), I'm sure a lot of girls are attracted to you.
lol, this wouldn't be a person who works in the computer lab, would it? my exroommate told me she was like working on a project last eek and said she saw you in there talking to some really hot blonde. she was going to say hi but she said you looked **busy** lol...
Hey wanted to let you know i'm not returning to miami but life is getting better. you have no clue how much you helped me out of a really bad place - my RA, professors, friends, etc.thought i was just crazy. thanks so much!
A.
Oh, I don't know, I kinda like gloomy weather. Dark gray clouds, flocks of birds swooping around in formation against stark tree branches -- it's kind of beautiful. It reminds me of my favorite movie, Wings of Desire
But today is sunny, so go take a walk at lunch!
Lupe, Cooper, et. al:
Palooka (n) - a clumsy, inept, or untalented boxer; a stupid, clumsy, or obnoxious person; oaf; lout. Watched this old Twilight Zone episode about boxing the other night. LOL...remnants of sportswriter career.
Lupe:
Given my track record with women who are a) insane, b) insane and dangerous, and c) nucking futs, it just caught me off guard. I'd like to at least think that there are nice girls that would be interested in me. This person, though, I think has a boyfriend and I've never thought about it.
Katherine:
Yeah, some people find it annoying. I find it annoying most of the time myself. And my G'maw is indeed a wise woman. I miss the indian summer, given the fact that its 27 today.
Alice:
LOL, yeah I have Gucci baggage, and, well, as for being way out of my league, I was just that I've never been associated with...well...sane girls. Or very few sane girls. It kind of blew my mind that people thought I was somehow this person's "type."
G:
Hey, dude, thanks for the reminder and the pep talk. I'm absolutely lousy at taking compliments - always been a problem of mine - which is part of the problem. As for what I want, well, still dig the idea of one day growing up. May happen. The thing that was so cool, as I said above, is the whole shock of "this is the kind of person you think I date? No tats in wierd spots, no serious emotional/mental issues, no weird sexual liabilities/affairs/extra relationship stuff? A job and career ambitions? Damn."
Carla:
Hey, thanks for the compliments. As for winter, well, sometimes its nice. And from what I hear about your country, yeah, the rainy times can be just as annoying, or hot and humid.
Male librarians are the only people I have ever known to use the word cheeky.
J, I know the feeling, man. I get that too. Problem is, I myself am torn these days ... half of me still wants the 'wildchild', half of me wants the 'girl next door' ... changes with the day. So yeah, I hear you, man.
Oops...missed some folks...
Round Two (God, I've gotta quit watching boxing)
MM:
Gloomy and overcast is sometimes nice. Brings out my inner Morrissey, which is sometimes good, sometimes bad.As for sunny...lol. After spending a half-hour on my library's roof in 10 degree windchill...yeah...sunny ;)
Anon/"A":
Hey girl! Glad to know you're doing better. If you're back this way, give me a ring and we'll do coffee. As for the blonde, well, that was probably a staffer...I have no idea what your roomate looks like, so have her say hi anytime, even if I look "busy."
PS - Do you mean I looked like I was...flirting? lol. Librarians are paid to flirt, chica.
Liz:
That thud you are probably hearing is the sound of me falling off my couch and laughing :D
G:
Yeah, can't make up my mind, either. I think I'm just getting too picky. I think I need a mixture of both to be happy - a highly intelligent, down-to-earth woman who is totally comfortable cuddling up and watching a cheesy B-movie one night...and ready to go do something totally insane the next, without actually being insane.
Jason, I think it's time for you to move back to Cali. It was about 78F today and just gorgeous! It's hard to be depressed when the weather is so nice.
I don't think you're lame at all :)
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