Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Once Upon a Time in Mexico...

Okay...here's the deal.

A few months ago, an ex-girlfriend invited me to her wedding near Ciudad Juarez, Mex., this weekend.

I politely declined her invitation, and I wired money down to her mother for the money dance. I shipped off the wedding gift.

Its not that I have any old hang-ups about going to an ex's wedding. She's marrying a guy that's obviously a thousand times the guy I'll ever be. I'm extremely happy for her. He's a 40-year old psychiatrist with an investment portfolio; I'm a 27-year-old librarian who can barely balance a checkbook.

For some reason, I just felt it would be too damned uncomfortable being there. I mean, I'm not family, though I came pretty close. Not really a friend friend - we're on speaking terms, but there really isn't any such thing as "just being friends" when you've been down the road she and I have been.

I don't deal well with drama. Not a fan of soap operas, on television or real life. I know I'd have people gossiping in two languages wondering why this stranger from Ohio flew down for a traditional Mexican Catholic wedding.

The ex in question understood my concerns and was disappointed, but she understood. I thought everything was cool...


I neglected to tell her baby sister I had decided not to go. Her sister was sort of, unofficially, counting on me to be her date for the wedding, though she never talked to me about it. She found out from the bride-to-be Saturday. I got an earful Sunday morning.

I really have no clue why. I never indicated I was going to said wedding to this person. I thought it was kind of presumptuous to assume that in the first place.

This is why I don't like weddings.


Ms. Monkeythong said...

I don't like weddings either, and I'm married! I wasn't too keen on having a wedding, but...people have certain expectations.

I used to cater & tend bar at weddings after college. That'll cure ya of ever wanting one yourself.

The ZenFo Pro said...


Yeah...part of the reason I keep telling myself that if I ever come close to getting married 'm thinking Vegas or simply Justice of the Peace.

KC said...

I think this is just too damned funny. My xbf just sent me an invite to HIS wedding next month. sounds like yours is so much more bizarre though

Anonymous said...

Luckily I am not at the age where my friends are marrying. I have had to suffer through enough of the family and friend of family weddings for a lifetime.
I'm not big on marriage except in this day and age except for the kid factor as if you plan to have kids and unless you are some kind of super star or incredinely rich person you still have to be married to have children as it makes it to hard on them otherwise.
It is pretty rude of her to assume that you would be her date for the wedding. The only thing worse than going to a friends wedding is being the date of someone.

Who the heck wants to go to an old gf/bf'e wedding anyay?

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

that as me sorry.

Carla said...

It's the wedding and new born baby season, I tell you.

Got wedding invitations every now and then from highschool/college friends I got so sick of it. It's actually rather annoying everytime I show up in a wedding party, an old buddy (and I can guarantee it's not only an AN) would always ask: "When is your turn?"

I didn't come to my ex' wedding, either, a couple of months ago. I felt a bit weird, like you. And he lives only a couple of blocks away from me.
Maybe I should have come..

The ZenFo Pro said...

I think its always bizarre when an ex invites you to a wedding.

I'm not a fan of the whole marriage thing either, but, yeah, I definitely think its so much easier to raise children when there's two people handling duties. I'd like to have kids one day.

Yes it is indeed...wow. I've been fortunate in I have dodged most of the "when are you getting married" stuff. I'm pretty sure most of my friends have figured out I'm pretty much a lost cause ;)