Saturday, September 17, 2005

"...You Have the Wrong Guy, Chica"
Bizarre Friday Night Conversation Leads to Drunken Confessional

This has to be one of the most bizarre online conversations I've had in a long time, literally came out of nowhere- I think this woman was either very drunk or was REALLY, REALLY confused. If this conversation belongs to a Zenfo Pro reader and you're uncomfortable with me reposting this, please e-mail me and I'll take the post down.

This was just too damned bizarre to not repost. Just in case, I removed all ID material, and, as always, people I KNOW or chat with regularly online have no reason to fear reposting of confidential or private chat material without express permission by both parties. I repeatedly, as you'll read, told this person I was not who she thought I was. Apparently, she just ignored it and kept going.

Otherwise, this serves as a good warning to folks. A lot of people with Yahoo! IM get those annoying "Just saw your Yahoo profile...are ya horny baby?" type IM spam things. Sometimes, they might not be spam, just somebody too out of it to realize they hit the wrong button.

Please, please...drink and IM responsibly.

[ID REMOVED]:gotta question
[ID REMOVED]: think i did something really stupid
JWAYNEJACK: do i know you?
JWAYNEJACK: hehehe...what'd ya do?
[ID REMOVED]: ummmm
[ID REMOVED]: do u know what a dp is?
JWAYNEJACK: Uhhh...think you have the wrong person...
[ID REMOVED]: Ya. U know what i mean. don't play mr innocent here you were at brick street when i hooked up with that guy from dayton and then u an i went back to [PERSON'S HOUSE} and hooked up and u told me u didn't care
[ID REMOVED]: remember that girl tina...she was like so wanting you.
JWAYNEJACK: yeah....pretty sure you have the wrong guy, chica
JWAYNEJACK: pretty sure i don't know you...pretty sure i've never hooked up with anyone at becky's house. only tinas I know live in Colorado and Cali.
JWAYNEJACK: Bye...good luck

[I go offline, come back two hours later]

[ID REMOVED]: hey where'd ya go?
[ID REMOVED]: i was watching the history channel and dying my hair with stacy
JWAYNEJACK: I really have no clue who you are
JWAYNEJACK: Think you have the wrong guy here
[ID REMOVED]: my bf wants me to do a dp for him.
[ID REMOVED]: Ya..his brother and roomatethink i'm like hot and he wants to watch
[ID REMOVED]: i don't want to do it
[ID REMOVED]: never done that kind of stuff
[ID REMOVED]: think its icky and makes me feel pretty worthless
JWAYNEJACK: well, don't do it then.
JWAYNEJACK: its your body and you have a right to do what you want with it. If you're not comfortable doing something, then just say no.
[ID REMOVED]: :) That's like so sweet!
[ID REMOVED]: Thanks....
[ID REMOVED]: I wanna dump this stupid stupid bf it makes me so like mad. feel bad for being mad, but i guess thats just me
[ID REMOVED]: you know how i get sometimnes when i've been drinking :O
[ID REMOVED]: i don't want to dump him hes a realy nice guy and hegoing to grad school and mom loves him
JWAYNEJACK: Um...hate to be rude, but would mom still love him if she knew he'd asked you to pull a train for his friends???
JWAYNEJACK: You obviously have me confused with someone else
JWAYNEJACK: I really need to get to bed soon
[ID REMOVED]: K. U realy are sooooo sweet!
[ID REMOVED]: So you thinki shuld dump [JOHN DOE]?
[ID REMOVED]: its only 1 am silly! You're too youg to goe to bed this early! Hahaha :))
JWAYNEJACK: Don't know the situation...not dr. phil or anything...but sure, why the hell not? I wouldn't date somebody who I don't want to date anymore...
JWAYNEJACK: but i don't know you...seriously...youre talking to a stranger here...
[ID REMOVED]: need ta thinck soer up roomies plyaing cornhole and stacy's got out o tha bathrom
[ID REMOVED]: Call me!

[ID REMOVED] has signed out.


Lupe :) said...

Hey...long time no hear! Classes kicking my ass dude. just checking in. My Stacy's been volunteering with Katrina stuff out here.
I've got tons of these random messages that show up. Then I heard that it was probably my Yahoo personals thing. Could this girl have just been surfing, looking for a frigging hook-up, then clicked on an ad thinking you were somebody else?

Hey, btw, heard you like dropped a whole lot of weight this summer...Meg told me she catches you online sometimes.

Will call today...must catch up.


LibraryTavern Liz said...

what the hell is a dp?

LibraryTavern Liz said...

ok, I looked it up in an urban dictionary. Quite librarianlike of me, wasn't it? I confess I recently had to look up PDA, too. Perhaps this answers my own question about middle aged.

The ZenFo Pro said...

Thank god ya found it....was trying to find a diplomatic way of explaining it.

Anonymous said...

LOL...this sounds like i could be anyone of the thousands of miami minions working on their Mrs. degrees here. Once overheard a a guy bragging - in public - about catching V.D. from a girl at a party. Thursday, there was a girl in my Psych class bragging about how she once stripped to ay off her bar tab. Sad. Too funny but sad.


G said...

See, this is exactly why I ensure my IM never gets published ... people I know get the IM only. Though I must say I do miss out on such great conversations with total strangers.

What's most amazing is this person, who obviously didn't want any part of the dp, still felt she had to ask you whether she should go through with it. Everyone's insecure in their own way, but damn, that's disturbing. Poor girl.

Smurf said...

Wow! Sounds very interesting.. lol

LibraryTavern Liz said...

G, you're right ... I have nothing against people experimenting with sexual activities, but for god's sake not if it disgusts them to think about them.

The ZenFo Pro said...

It is pretty disturbing, actually, but I think its definitely part of a whole bigger picture in terms of culture, the need to fit it, and this weird group codependency that seems to be prevelant nowadays.

Working with a lot of Gen Y folks (Gen Why? is probably more appropriate), I've noticed this trend in self-imposed peer pressure kinds of decision making - not doing things because folks pressure them into it, but instead anticipating being treated as an outcast or banished from the herd if they make a decision on their own. Basically, the image of acceptance becomes more important than the substance behind it.

Smurf said...

So, what is dp? I guess I am not quite sure what it meant.. but he messenger sounded very... Very well put btw Jason!


Anonymous said...

Um...double penetration

Smurf said...

ohhhh! *blush*

thanks. (*^-^*)

Chewie said...

this shit only seems to happen to you dude.. it is amazing the kind of people that find you :-)

Smurf said...

Well, now that I actually know what we are talking about! *BLUSH* DP-- if you are uncomfortable with it... forget him! Seriously...I am going to be really candid for a sec.. my oldest sister's husband dreamt of being with two girls at one time... my sister obliged to his fantasy... well one day, she got drunk and woke up on the couch with the other two on the bed getting at it... this ruined their marriage... my sister has secretly been trying to get back at him ever since...My sister is an nympho and well, her current husband was the first guy probably out of hundreds, she never cheated on... and ever since this one moment in time, they have had cheating wars and all sorts of nonsense... if you like the orgie thing... that is your deal I guess... by my opinion is that when you bring someone else into your bed you ETERNALLY screw up the true intimacy you might have... hope it works out and you find a guy worthy of you... if you are reading....

G said...

ZF, great point, dude. It's a culture of indulgence with the Y's ... where acceptance is the sweet thing in which to indulge.

I wonder how reactionary this against GenX, which was very much a culture of isolation, and from that, individuality ... "I am me, and fuck the world if they dare say otherwise".

You and I are about the same age, and fall somewhere in between the X and the Y ... I don't think our particular generation had a term, which maybe sums us up best. We (as in those in our age range) generally weren't as into the despair as the Xers, but certainly not into the superficial be-cool-feel-gooder-of-the-moment that the Gen Y emo kids are into either. Weird place to be in, isn't it?