Apparently, some cute guy had asked her on a date.
How do I know she thought he was attractive? She must've used the word "hot" to describe this particular Romeo about ten times in under a minute. From the bit of the conversation I overheard through my office wall, he was also "sweet," "cool to hang out with," and "a good kisser."
She apparently wasn't happy about it.
As I was locking my office door, I heard a phrase I haven't heard in a long time:
"But I don't date black guys."
I started to say something, but decided against it. This woman, tan and looking very underfed, obviously has a lot of things on her plate.
Like NOT dating some HOT somebody because...they weren't born Caucasian.
I really hope there was some other reason. I pray there was something more...
But if what I heard was indeed the sole minimum dating standard, then die single, lady.
Seriously. If you're attracted to someone, race shouldn't really matter. This isn't 1906, 1966, or even 1996 - get over it. Date who you want. Go out and have a good time. I'm not be an expert, but I've yet to meet anyone from anywhere in the world who doesn't want to be romantically involved with someone they actually like.
Walking out to my truck, I lit a cigarette and thought about what I'd just overheard. Using the calculator on my mobile, I crunched some personal numbers out of curiosity.
I've never cared about race - not something I really think about when I find somebody attractive. Sure, I'm a stereotypical hetero male. I notice physical attributes. There are things I like, things I don't.
I've also know folks who care about race too much when it comes to courting. I've known black men who only date white women, white women who only date Latinos, people who only date within their own group, even Asian lesbians who would only date other Asian lesbians.
But frankly, ethnicity is just too stupid of a measurement for my libido. Hell, I can't even quantify what I'm looking for in a relationship, much less the physical stuff. If I find a woman attractive, well, I just do.
I basically calculated a statistical breakdown of all of the women I've ever been involved with - physically, romantically, or...um...otherwise. For simplicity's sake, I used that stupid U.S. Census criteria, where people from North Africa and the Middle East mysteriously cease to be Persian or Bedouin and become something called "White (Not Hispanic)."
Here's what the numbers revealed, rounded to the nearest whole number (won't equal 100% because of, well, the mysteries of mathematics):
"Hispanic" (Not White) - 36 %
"White" (Not Hispanic) - 30 %
"Black" - 20 %
Asian/Pacific Islander - 10 %
Native American/Aboriginal - 5%
Other/multiple ethnicities - 3 %
It was actually harder to do than it looks. Not the math; having to categorize somebody into something I never really saw in them is actually more difficult than I thought it would be.
Looking at those numbers now, the whole thing seems absolutely batshit. The human race has spent the majority of its history choping itself into definable groups based, mostly, on very superficial things - skin color, language, traditions, religion, diet, etc.
What a stupid thing. No wonder I've never noticed it.
Sure, there are a lot of folks who aren't attracted to certain features prevelant in many cultures. I don't want to judge anybody because they don't find members of one ethnic group sexually appealing. Every day, millions of people fall in love with people who look, talk, and share cultural similaries. These things happen, based on the environment that produced the individual...
But what if someone is admittedly attracted to someone but uses ethnicity as an excuse? Why the hell would somebody want to do that? Why limit yourself? If you dig somebody, what the fuck does being "black" have to do with it?
I guess I shouldn't be too shocked. I'll probably end up with more questions than answers on this one.
Culture, Dating, Diversity, Race, Relationships, Society