A Very Dirty Dozen, Indeed ...A Meme of Sorts

The meme is a select art form in the Electronic Age.

Answer this number of questions and then forward it to this many people. Explain yourself in this many words, then share it with friends. Post this to your blog and tag as many people as you - the memenator - deem worthy.

I'm going to try to put a different spin on this concept. Since the basic idea is to entertain through either a) humiliation, b) nostalgia, or c) a narcissistic combination of both, what if one could turn the whole idea into something more entertaining?

Here's the deal...

Below are 12 statements about myself. Four are complete bullshit. The rest are accurate representations of my offline existence. Some are harsh; some are rather entertaining.

I've been trying to think of a way to blog about some of the things friends have told me they'd like to see on this blog. I'm sure there are folks out there who have wondered why, sometimes, I seem a bit gun-shy when it comes to blogging about certain experiences. I'm not sure what's so fascinating, really. We all sing the body electric in our own way - how is my life any more interesting than, say, an elementary school custodian, an electrician, or a truck driver?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to figure out which ones are true and which ones are false...

1. I once split two packs of cigarettes with an actress who has co-starred in films with the likes of Johnny Depp and Cher. We sat on a rock near the Pacific in the middle of the night, talking about relationships, love, and Walt Whitman.

2. There is a certain California-based fitness guru, known best for his aerobics show in the 1960s and his juicer in the 1990s, who gave me a half-hour lecture about my smoking habit.

3. I try to resist calling a certain Texas politician stupid, ignorant, insane, or evil on this blog because I met the man back in 2000 during one of his scheduled campaign stops. He is anything but stupid; he's also got one hell of a sense of humor.

4. In grad school, I attended the same church as Louisiana governor Kathleen Blanco's predecessor. Despite having nothing in common with him politically, I made a point of thanking him for running for office and chatted him up about his love of Harleys.

5. The biggest asshole I've ever met starred in White Men Can't Jump.

6. I went to grad school not to become a librarian but to get into private-sector intelligence and information brokerage work.

7. I worked as a library design consultant, information analyst, wholesale surplus salvage specialist, historic site planner, and freelance researcher for a private investigaton agency to offset some of the costs associated with grad school - while in grad school.

8. My parents were/are very wealthy when I was growing up and spoiled me. My trip to Paris in 1994 was utterly amazing.

9. I quit reading tarot cards, tea leaves, dominoes, and other family folk traditions when I became educated.

10. I have a relatively high opinion of myself and trust my ability to make sound decisions.

11. The numbers 33, 19, 23, 19, 30, 20, 36, and 24 represent the respective ages of the last eight women with whom I've been romantically involved.

12. I've been friends with men who are now doing time in maximum security prisons for violent crimes. The first girl I ever kissed-kissed (at 15) ended up going to prison for her involvement in a double murder and commited suicide in December 2004.

I haven't made up my mind about whether or not I'll actually answer any guesses to which four are the false statements. If you've read the blog long enough, it probably shouldn't be too awfully difficult, but I think I've even put in enough embarrassing stuff to keep even good friends guessing.

Consider this an open-source tag. Feel free to reuse for your own blogging pleasure. One of the tricky things about Cyberspace is trying to figure out what to keep private and what to make public.