Friday, November 04, 2005

Zenformation Mail:
"Reflective" Sex Lives, My Flat Butt, and Why Library Instruction is Boring

* NOTE - These are e-mails I've received via the Zenformation Professional e-mail link in my profile. I have removed all identifiers in the queries to protect privacy, even of the ZenFo haters. No names from this point on - just cities. I reserve the right to NOT answer questions about my personal life but may answer them privately. I will only post e-mails and responses that specifically ask me to post a response; however, no advertising or hotlinking will be allowed.

E-mail text is unedited (other than identifiers) and some content may be objectionable to some folks.
- Jason,
AKA The Zenformation Professional


Okay smartass...I've been wading through your psudointellectual bullshit for months now and I think you're a prime example of the treasonous venomous lies the Extreme Left puts out. I wanted you to know i think all youre bitching and moaning about Conservatives (we are the mainstream) is probably reflective in
your sex life. or your a fag.

- OXFORD, OHIO


ZenFo Pro Response:
Dude, I can appreciate your political differences with the content of my blog. I consider myself a populist more than a member of the Extreme Left, but your views are your views. I'm not quite sure how my political views are "reflective" in my sex life. Or how you can surmise that I'm somehow gay based on my writing. Either way, I don't think you're helping further your political orientation by sending nasty e-mails to a blog.

I see you in [a] Library all the time and I've wanted you to know you have a nice ass. Please post this. My friend at [an East Coast] University also reads your site and doesn't think i hav the guts to send you an e-mail :)

- OXFORD, OHIO


ZenFo Pro Response:
No problem. Posted. Obviously you have more guts than your friend believes you do. I appreciate the compliment, but, well, I'll be the first to admit I have a pretty ordinary butt. And thanks for not bringing that up while I'm at work. And, since I'm not sure who I'm answering, please feel free to say hi whenever you're in my library.
My roomate and i are having an argument about plagarism. she says that some profs have software that can pick out stolen papers. i say she's full of shit because students would know about it. who's right???
- PHOENIX, ARIZ.

ZenFo Pro Response:
I hope you didn't bet on this one, because your roomie is indeed correct. There is anti-plagiarism software out there, but a saavy college instructor can spot lifted material a mile away. There are many other tools at their disposal. For a description of the numerous ways faculty can catch a cheat, click here.
You seem like a cool guy and I totally groove out to a lot of the same tunes you do. why the fuck did you become a librarian? And why do my professors always bring in the most boring ppl to show us how to search for books? its like so lame sometimes and i fall asleep.
- NO CITY PROVIDED

Thanks for the compliments. As for why I became a librarian, well, it seemed like a cool thing to do. And I've never regretted it. I had a blast in Library School, actually. As for why your instructors bring in librarians to teach what we call "Bibliographic Instruction," well, it depends on the professor. Some profs really bring in libbies to babysit students; the majority (I hope) actually want academic librarians to teach their students how to be better researchers. If you find yourself bored senseless, you can help improve everyone's experience by sharing your experience with the librarian. It could be he/she has no clue that they're coming across as boring. Librarians are there to help make you a better researcher. Knowing what you need always helps.

I'm just curious. I love your stories about you personal life and i can so relate but what's the strangest thing you've ever had happen to you at your job? You never talk much about your job and i just wanted to know.
- LINCOLN, NEB.

ZenFo Pro Response:
I'm glad somebody can relate, seriously. I choose not to talk much about my professional life because I really have no complaints. I love my job and my colleagues. Perhaps the strangest occurances I've experienced have happened because of this blog. Two weeks ago, a group of female patrons sat on couches for two or three days, huddled around an iBook and staring at me every time I walked by. It really creeped me out a bit, but I ran into one of the women in an elevator the other day. She said she and her friends were afraid to say anything to me because they were intimidated by me and I guess thought I'd make fun of them or something. I dunno...do I come across as intimidating?






14 comments:

Anonymous said...

This why I don't blog. Lord...it sounds almost like you have rather obsessive local readers. I promise I won't ever stalk you :)You are kind of intimidating not too many guys like you around here i wanted to introduce myself sometime would that be awkward for you??

Ray "Raedien" Devine said...

Seems to me you run a pretty tight ship 'round here.

And you're a librarian.

Friggin' sweet.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the AP software...its amazing how many times I answer questions about this at work. A lot of undergraduate students seem to be under the impression that faculty are somehow stupid. Hello! Post-graduate education! It reminds me of the old "Are you a Narc?" urban legend that went around about buying pot.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Dear Zenpro,
I've seen you around blog land and have heard that your ass if quite fine.
Could you post a butt picture please? I've got two midterms to go, they like to spread them out here, may have to deal with a GA strike and will be under a lot of pressure and it would help. The librarians here have really large or nonexistent butts, at least from what I can tell, besides that they are mean and never let me take out books that professors have on their hold lists.
Please sign it to Cooper and place it in front of your
Blog so I can show all my friends. Giggle giggle.

The ZenFo Pro said...

Anon #1:
Sorry if I come across as intimidating. Thanks for answering. And please feel free to introduce yourself. I certainly hope there are no other guys like me around here...that would just be sad ;) Not obsessive, just curious I think.

Ray:
Hey man, thanks for stopping by. Saw your post over at BloGeufi's page. Had to give you a shout-out.

Anon #2:
Let me put it this way...everytime I have an opportunity to speak to a class, I ALWAYS point out that anti-plagiarism software exists. Yeah, faculty aren't dumb...you don't get through 7-10 years of college without learning every trick of the trade. My favorite...vodka in the ol' Sprite bottle. That's so junior high. Don't drink in class, don't cheat, and don't believe the Narc thing. Good point. Thanks for posting.

Cooper:
harhar...my ass won't help you with the midterms. It is so white it glows in the dark, however, and overexposure has been known to cause snowblindness ;)
GA strike...hmmm. Miami's labor contract expires next June...there was a strike two years ago...hmm.

pia said...

My dad always wanted me to become a librarian--after I refused to be a lawyer--should have listened

Really fun post

The ZenFo Pro said...

Pia:
Yeah, I was supposed to be halfway to a full Naval retirement by now, according to my grandfather's agenda. Librarianship's enjoyable...no ulcers, better diet than I had when I was a reporter.

Thanks

Leigh said...

The anti-plagerism software totally exsists and i love when my professor friends tell me they've nabbed a student. Hmmmm...perhaps your ass could be useful if the power goes out?

Anonymous said...

I hav a question and I was wondering if I could add it to this since your a librarian. I've been trying to find out about rape statistics in oxford. the only thing i can find has been kinda fishy sounding. thanks:O)

Em

zydeco fish said...

Well, now I feel somehow less important since I have really had only one "nice butt" comment. I need to either change my wardrobe or kill this pseudo-anonymous thing.

Ogbuefi Stephi said...

wow... hope my comment doesn't get lost in the midst of all the others...

anyway, just wanted to say hello, cause it's been a while.

and thanks for all the support and kind comments. it means a lot.

and wow again! the stories of your stalker encounters... a little creepy, gotta say. must be nice to know you have a following. maybe i'll be that popular one day... (kidding!... but only slightly)

keep it tight!
~steph

The ZenFo Pro said...

Leigh:
LOL...I've offered my ass to the military for experimentation and possible weapons development...unfortunately, they've been using Rush Limbaugh's ass as a biological weapon for decades...Honestl, what prof doesn't get off just a little bit on catching a cheater??

Anon:
I have some information to send you regarding places to get other information. Yes, the official stats are kind of fishy, but campus rapes are extremely underreported because of the percieved stigmas. Send me an e-mail or stop by my office so I can relay the info. I may repost what a colleague and I found in a later post.

ZF:
Honestly, I'm sure your butt is much nicer than mine. (Did I just write that?) That's the first butt comment I've ever recieved in my life. Sigh...yeah.

Stephi:
Why would you think your comment would get lost, dear? You're like one of four local bloggers with the cajones to speak your mind, which is totally awesome! As for the comments, hey, you're a badass chick! You're very welcome....wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.

Divine Miss P. said...

Yes. You are kind of intimidating. Shorter than I thought. But its the smart thing youve got going. most guys around oxford are pretty self-abosrbed. And the long-haired emo trendy thing freaks me out as much as the girls all dress the same. its sad i uess that a first year girl would rather hang out with her professors than talk to her stupid roomate but thats just me.

Anonymous said...

Hey, thanks for the answer! Arizona rocks! Thanks for the plagerism answer yo