Zenformation Mail: November 30, 2005Frats, Matchmaking Bloggers, and Love

* NOTE - These are e-mails I've received via the Zenformation Professional e-mail link in my profile. I have removed all identifiers in the queries to protect privacy, even of the ZenFo haters. No names from this point on - just cities. I reserve the right to NOT answer questions about my personal life but may answer them privately. I will only post e-mails and responses that specifically ask me to post a response; however, no advertising or hotlinking will be allowed.

E-mail text is unedited (other than identifiers) and some content may be objectionable to some folks.

- Jason,

AKA The Zenformation Professional

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This is going to sound like a really stupid question, so please don't post my name or anything.:)

Were you in a fraternity when you were in college? What do you think of Greek Life here at Miami?

- OXFORD, OHIO, Nov. 11, 2005

Nope. I was never in a fraternity. Dated a few sorority girls before and had a few friends who were in fraternities. As for greek life, well, I don't want to sound too harsh, but I think the whole fraternity/sorority thing is a bit outdated and probably won't survive the 21st century. In many of the college towns I've lived or visited, the frat population seems to be declining everywhere but the South and the East Coast. - ZP

lol. i don't know why yu don't have a girlfriend. you seem like a really smart guy but i guess it must be hard being single in oxford. if you want i might be able to help. a girl i work with is really sweet and i think you two would make a cute couple. i promise, i'm an awesome matchmaker!!!!!!!!!!

- OXFORD, OHIO, Nov. 26, 2005

Thanks for the compliment. Very sweet, and it can be difficult being a single guy in Oxford. I'm sure you're an amazing matchmaker, but you may not know me as well as you think you do. Your friend might not be too keen on the "there's this blog guy I'd love to hook you up with" idea, either. Thanks for the offer, though. - ZP

Znfo Pro guy, I'm really hoping you can give me some advice here. I feel so stupid for actually writing this but I am totally madly in love with this girl who works at College Library. I'd ask my friends for advice on this but they think I'm insane because she's like so not my type. I don't want to give my life story or anything but I've had a lot of girlfriends who have ened up playing me. I have a class with this girl and I make up totally lame excuses to my friends about why I'm hanging out in the library so much. I'm so afraid to speak to his girl because I'm afraid she won't think I'm smart enough (she's like brilliant or something.) I thought that since you're a librarian guy maybe you could hook a brother up.

- UCLA, Nov.30, 2005

Hey man, I'm not Dear Abby or anything but I'll give this a shot. First, don't feel stupid. No stupid people here. Second, you don't sound insane, and unless you've ot some freakish altar or something built to this girl, then you're probably pretty normal.

I don't know what the whole story is with your past or why you're worried about friends' reactions, but I'm almost 100% certain you're not going to find out if she's interested in you simply by hanging out at the place where she works. You could end up making yourself look like a stalker or something...don't do that.

Having been in a ton of really shitty relationships, I think I can a relate. I'm extremely initidated by women who are intelligent but I'm terrified of ending up in another bad relationship where I end up getting played.

I'm also about 100% sure you'd stand a better chance if you had the guts to actually say something to her. What's the worst she can say? Please, though, don't be an idiot and ask her out or try to be some mack-daddy in the library. You'd A) probably look like an ass, and B)might get her in trouble.

However...if she works at a reference desk or circulation desk, you could use that as a place to break the ice. Use your time wisely while you're there; do some research for a paper and, well, if you need help finding a book or need to check out some materials, go ask her for some help - no strings or expectations.

Good luck! - ZP