Thursday, November 10, 2005

HIGHWAY TO HOLY SHIT DEPT:
Pat Robertson's Still Alive???

Pardon the pun, but Jesus H. Christ...

On behalf of sane Virginians everywhere, please remember that if Pat Robertson weren't playing Revelation Meteorologist, he'd probably still be peddling black market diamonds for Third World dictators.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Conservative Christian televangelist Pat Robertson told citizens of a Pennsylvania town that they had rejected God by voting their school board out of office for supporting "intelligent design" and warned them on Thursday not to be surprised if disaster struck.

Robertson, a former Republican presidential candidate and founder of the influential conservative Christian Broadcasting Network and Christian Coalition, has a long record of similar apocalyptic warnings and provocative statements....


Why does this guy keep making these predictions? Well, it makes money. There are tons of old ladies living off canned catfood, happy to subsidize his humble lifestyle. Of course, they're afraid that if they don't ship out their pensions, the world will end.


10 comments:

Leigh said...

I know, I'm pretty creeped out by it to.

LibraryTavern Liz said...

Pat Robertson is wacked.

Have you ever been to his 'little' place there in Virginia Beach? It's absolutely beautiful. And absolutely sickening to see that is what he does with the money that people send. They put on a good fireworks display on the 4th of July too. Praise Jesus!

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I don't think a total insane psyhopath deserves so much press.

The ZenFo Pro said...

Leigh:
Yeah, when religious nuts get he airwaves, these things are bound to happen. Robertson has had a stellar year...advocating the assassination of a South American president and now this. Nothing like religious extremists to just touch the heart right here [Jason says, as he throws up in his mouth a little bit].

Liz:
I grew up smack dab between Robertson and that other AmeriChrist, Inc., charlaton, Jerry Falwell. Both have these "modest" palaces built upon their empires of lies, Christianty-as-fascism, and snake oil charm.

Alice:
I don't think so either. But my hope is the more he's raked over the coals, the more likely his litle kingdom within the Christian NEoCon movement will collapse under the wieght of its own bullshit.

G said...

Hmmm ... a new game is unfolding:

Christian TV Personalities

If you had to pick one, would it be:

(a) Pat Robertson and his money-grabbing-through-fear apocolyptic ramblings;

(b) Jimmy Swaggert and his love for prostitutes (Jesus didn't love them THAT much, did he?);

(c) Jerry Falwell and his hate speech;

or (d) Fred Phelps and his clan's hate-based activism.

Tough call. Would have to go with Swaggert on that one - there is that urban legend about Jesus and Mary Magdeline, after all. In the very least, Swaggert was - technically - promoting love towards an oft-disparaged societal group.

Amy said...

Can't we treat the televangelists like survivor and just vote them off the continent? Sorry he's from your state :)

Bob "Crash" Patterson said...

Pat Robertson, Falwell, Dobson, et al are proof that there is not an intelligent designer of the universe.

~BCP

The ZenFo Pro said...

G:

I choose Swaggart. Being horny never got anybody killed. Plus, he's related to Jerry Lee Lewis. That may be enough to keep him out of hell ;)

Amy:
I'm game. And I'm sorry too. You'd think we could at least trade Falwell and Robertson for something. I hear we have an oil crunch...I'm sure Venezuela might be interested in Robertson....

Crash:
LOL. I'm thinking of an omnipotent being similar to Homer Simpson may be responsible for the televangelist phenomena. C'mon, there's a fundie preacher named Oral Roberts, for chrissakes. What kind of religious woman names her kid Oral???

G said...

J:

I can't say if horniness has led directly to death (may have but usually there are other factors involved), though I can assure you it has most certainly led to injury ... a few years back a frat boy with a bulge in his pants, eye on my GF of the time, and hand on her ass (with her trying to push away) met my fist, knee, elbow, boot, and while on the ground the shards of a bottle - in that order.

I've since mellowed greatly - maturity and an eye on staying on the right side of the law tends to do that to a guy - nowadays I'd probably leave the bottle out should a next such time arrive.

The ZenFo Pro said...

Yeah, I've had a few run-ins like that myself. Being an overly aggressive walking-hard-on has gotten more than one person hurt. As for maturity...LOL...you got me beat, dude. I'd like to think I got over my immature juvenile delinquent tendencies, but its probably just hidden well beneath a facade of responsibility.