Thursday, October 06, 2005

Trail of Humanity, Exibit A-876;
Tom Cruise and that Brainwashed Looking Girl Spawn

First, I caught this on the nightly news. Then, while reading The Australian tonight:

APPARENTLY Tom Cruise had it in him after all.

The Hollywood superstar and Scientologist has announced he is expecting a child with Katie Holmes, the 26-year-old actor who swore she would remain a virgin until the pair married.
Cruise already has two adopted children from his 10-year marriage to Oscar-winning Australian actor Nicole Kidman - Isabella, 12, and Connor, 10.
Gossip columnists have long speculated that Cruise, 43, was incapable of fathering a child, despite Kidman falling pregnant in the last year of their marriage. She miscarried and used a paternity test during divorce proceedings to prove the child was his...


Using state-of-the-art GIS and remote imaging technologies, coupled with the resources of several different national and international agencies, The Zenformation Professional has unearthed the first physical evidence that Katie Holmes is indeed carrying Tom Cruise's child:

Tom...its called a midlife crisis, dude. Next time, buy another sports car. Support another cause.

You were great in Top Gun. But I was eight when that film came out. Your baby's mama was seven. Its not the age difference thing. Age is just a number, if both parties are equal partners. Its the jumping-on-the-couch, trashing-psychology-on-network-television behavior that concerns me, Tom., its like, a baby or something, huh? Like wow. That's like so totally Britney Spears. And you just got knocked up by like Tom Cruise.

Okay...that's my token celebrity gossip/tabloid shit post. Will the talking heads finally shut up about this mess already.


Joe Fucking Sixpack said... are you trying to say you wouldn't do the same thing in Tom Cruise's shoes??? You wouldn't date a younger woman if you were single and recently divorced? I think you're just jealous because Tom and Katie are happy and youre just some bullshit critic with too much time on his hands.

My girlfriend reads your blog. I think blogging is a sactuary for whiny liberals like yourself to complain.

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I think assholes like the one above need to go back into the woods and take a poo poo, like they usually do.

Cruise is a crazy,looked better with crooked teeth, psychologically damaged, gay man trying desperately to make himself straight. I never knew who Katie Holmes was until all this came up due to not being much of a televison watcher but whatever. She got on the merry-go-round; lucky for her, now he will be paying her for at least eighteen years.

Every guy I knew had that DVD Top Gun in high school. I always preferred Val Kilmer.

Leigh said...

lol I agree with Alice...both about the guy above, and about Cruise

I actually can't believe he knocked someone up - he was with Nicole for almost 10 years and I don't think they even had sex

I am not a fan of whiny liberals myself and believe action is a lot more affective than words, but I think blogs are more of a personal sactuary for people's thoughts and concerns, or just an outlet to talk about whatever they hell they want

The ZenFo Pro said...

joe sixpack:
Well, I respect your opinion, but I think you missed the point. I really don't care about the age difference. I really don't care one way or the other. As for being jealous, lol! I really could care less, honestly. I actually feel sorry for anyone having to live under that kind of microscope. When I had my 15 minutes, I remmber going on a date with a local television anchor. We had a few drinks and did a little dancing; it ended up being twisted into "local news personalities caught making out like teenagers" by a local gossip writer. But it comes with the territory.

As for whiny liberals, I'm not sure I understand what an actor knocking p another actor has to do with politics...I'm more of a populist than anything else. I think whiny liberals who scream "everybody needs a handout" are just as bad as whiny conservatives who scream "let them eat cake."

Please pass along to your girlfriend my appreciation for stopping by(or maybe she's reading this now?)

The ZenFo Pro said...

I agree. Don't know if Tom Cruise is gay or not, but there's something just not right. As for Katie didn't know who she was until I googled her.

I too find it odd that he was able to get one woman impregnated after all those marriages..but, hey Michael Jackson spawned somehow, too. And I like to think of blogs as being personal sactuaries as well...sort of like one big neighborhood cafe where strangers meet and share ideas.

Megan said...

LMFAO! I saw this tonight on the news. My first thought is the kid must be something like the kid in the Omen...LOL.

Cruise + Holmes = Antichrist. Pretty sure that's hidden somewhere in the Bible.

Oh, asked that guy in my biochem class out! Yay! Date for me! You're right, i shouldn't wait for guys i want to ask me out (though I don't buy that "guys are intimidated by my beauty" bullshit you had in the e-mail.) He's 26 and thought i wouldn't want to go out with him because he said he thought he was too old. What's wrong with you mid-20s guys anyways?

Going to bed classes Friday! Got a date to plan...;)

zydeco fish said...

I think blogging is a sactuary for whiny liberals like yourself to complain.

He forgot to mention that blogs are also a sanctuary for right wing assholes. Clearly, the thing that is fucked up about Tom is Scientology. I hope someone kills me if I ever sign up for that. In fact, I give you my persmission. I'd rather be dead.

Smurf said...

I have heard soem weird things about this couple. Yikes.. Kinda sad actually. (The rumors are at least.) *Don't judge a man unless you have walked a mile in his shoes.*