Tuesday, October 18, 2005

OXFORD CONFIDENTIAL:
I've Gotten a Little Too Comfortable Being Single?!?.

Boring day at work. After getting used to having a million things going at once, my workload's about 90% back on schedule. After spending the last three months running in between meetings, offices, and parts of town, things are beginning to level off.

Great. Now what am I going to do?

I ended up spending the day getting some old administrative things out of the way. Catching up on paperwork, digitizing some floorplans, and even managed to get caught up on e-mail. Minimal meetings, and one was a lunch phonecall with a friend.

Sweetness.

I get into an elevator this afternoon with this woman. I politely ask her if she's enjoying the wonderful fall weather. She says yes, but neither she nor her roomates can figure out how to get the heat working in their new place.

So I give her my number, tell her to give me a call at about five or so. I've fixed everything from heaters to furnaces to doorknobs for people - its probably a simple fix, I tell her, and I'd be more than willing to stop by and check it out.

So she gives me a call at 5:30 or so. I stop by on my way home. Turns out, it was indeed the waterheater - somebody must've turned off the gas to the furnace.

While I'm working on getting the pilot light relit, this girl started asking me a lot of questions. (Who moves into a house with a gas furnace and DOESN'T keep matches handy? Do you know how hard it is to light a pilot with a frigging Zippo?)

She asked what I did at the library. She asked me why I was in Oxford. She asked how old I was. She asked me what I do for fun.

And then she asked me if I had a girlfriend. I said no. She asked if I was seeing anyone. I said no.

She mumbled something, then left the pantry for her kitchen. While I'm working the coverplate back into place, I hear the sound of three destinct women's voices and a guy - the roomates, I guess? All four are speaking in that "loud whisper argument" voice - soft enough where I can't make out what they're saying, loud enough where I can hear them in the room where I'm working while the door's shut.

Feeling awkward, I start singing to myself. Whistling. I was hoping the roomies weren't mad that this girl had brought a total stranger home to fix a furnace, rather than call the landlord. To make things worse, I heard some door slam shut.

Awkward...yeah.

So I fix things up, get the gas flowing, and the Lord sayeth, "Let there be heat!" And there was. I quietly snuck out to the hallway to check the thermostat. The girl who'd asked me to look at it was standing there fiddling with it. I squeeze between her and the meter (tiny place), figuring she'd move out of the way. She doesn't; she just stands there pressed between me and the wall.

This girl is like breathing down my neck, asking if I wanted something to eat.

Told her I was fine.
Then she asked me if I wanted a beer or something.

I said no thank you and asked her what temperature she liked to keep the place. She asked me where I lived and what temperature I preferred.

I finished up and left. She followed me out to the curband thanked me for helping her out.

I stopped on my way home for a cup of coffee. As I'm sitting there reading, I kept wondering if I'd somehow missed something. I had to call a female friend of mine up for something else anyway, so I told her the story, and she laughed.

She wouldn't tell me why she laughed, but she said I've gotten too comfortable being single...

What the hell does that mean?

13 comments:

Katherine said...

I'm like 99.9% sure the reason your friend laughed at you is because it sounds like you are like completely oblivious to flirting. Its a fair indicator that when a woman invites a strange guy - that she meets in a elevator - into her house to fix something, asks a bunch of personal questions, then breathes down your neck, yeah, then maybe you've been single too long. Hope that didn't make me sound like a bitch...my bf won't even rub my feet, much less like fix anything :0)

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

You are either really naive or it is like- "i'm not a naive guy but I play one on the internet" kind of thing.

LibraryTavern Liz said...

Do you know how dangerous it could be to go to a strange woman's apartment?

The ZenFo Pro said...

Katherine:
Yup, that's what I was afraid of. Its not that I'm completely oblivious, but I just don't think about that kind of stuff when I'm trying to do somebody a favor. That's kind of why I felt like I was missing something here...what the hell was I doing, right or wrong? Christ, when did offering to fix the heat become a pick-up line????

Alice:
Fortunately, I'm not really as naive as I sound...just a bit slow sometimes. I was more worried that I'd get caught up in some wierd roommate fight for helping to get the heat on, some argument about the landlord or something. When it finally hit me, I really felt like a spinster. LOL, unfortunately, I think I'm not as naive on the Internet as I play in real life ;-)

Liz:
Yep. That's why I was in kind of a hurry to get out of there.

Liz:

kendra said...

maybe i'm just a sucker for guys who are naive or slow, but that behaviour can really increase your stock value.

though i also agree with liz- going into strangers' apartments should not be a usual thing.

Vegas Megan said...

How honey how cam you be soooo freaking smart and still be soooo-dense???? i used to thing you were just fishing for compliments but i guess i think its more about self-confidence and the fact that you think to damn much. heyI guess i can't talk, but you need to work on that, honey ;P.
i don't think its a pick-up line but why o why woud you think a girl wouldn't give you a call if you gave her your no.? is it that traditional southern manners thing or what?

Anonymous said...

my husband is the same way. Don't feel bad at all.

G said...

J-man,

If you were honestly looking, you'd have noticed. I don't think it's 'too comfortable being single' that is the issue; it's just whether or not you really want something new right now. If/when you do, you'll notice the flirting, dude.

Put it this way, it could've been my situation. Similar situation with the last four or five that I've met, in that we get talking, I offer to help with something or other, the flirting starts ... I notice and flirt also ...

...

... and then the boyfriend shows up. Last few times, that's happened each time.

At least that didn't happen to you at the thermostat - now THAT would've been awkward.

Keep your head up, dude - you'll find her in time - and on your time. Know what I'm saying?

Peace bro,
G

Lupe said...

hahaha...as I said before, yes, you have gotten too comfortable being single...not that you like need to be a codependent wreck or anything...but come on holmes...Jeez, what kind of guy goes to a girls house to REALLY fix a thermostat? I really think you just don't want to notice when somebody notices you...pay more attention, dammit ;-)

Leigh said...

I dunno man...I think I'd be totally turned off to someone just letting me into their home and then just flirts shamelessly. It seems too needy. SHIT! Maybe I've also become to comfortable with being single too!

Carla said...

Hahaha.. It was most obvious, really, that she was inviting you. But I can relate. Been trapped in some similar situations and I missed the signals, simply cause it was not planned.

:D

The ZenFo Pro said...

Kendra:
Guys have a stock value??? ;) Yah, not a regular habit.

Megan:
LOL...I guess I'm pretty dense sometimes...not always, but it depends on what I'm doing and where I am. I do think too much, and, yeah, probably a bit of it's self-confidence issues.

Anon:
Thanks. Its nice to know I'm not the only scatterbrained guy out there.

G:
You're probably right. There's also the fact that I just don't think that far ahead. Not looking for needy or a fling or anything. I'm sorta fed up with the fling thing.

As for the "she's got a guy, she's just forgotten" scenarios...man, do I hear ya. 80% of the women I've been involved with in anyway have been in supposedly "committed relationships" at the time I met them. It takes a toll after the first dozen or so. When I was younger, I tried to convince myself that it didn't bother me. Then, in succession, I got involved with a friend's girlfriend, the same friend's sister-in-law/my ex's intern, an engaged woman, a woman looking to get back at her fiancee's affair, and a girl "taking time off" from her relationship. Don't want to go down that route again. I guess part of it is bachelorhood has helped me see that I don't just have to hop in the sack with anything that pays attention to me. Unfortunately, I may have gotten a little too selective in my "old age"...LOL

Yah, atleast there was no beau involved...and I was too frustrated about singing the hair off my knuckles to notice.

Leigh:
My thoughts exactly. My first thought, even in hindsight, is "jeez, how the hell can somebody be that desperate?" when thinking about the situation. It was kind of shameless. And I'm really not interested in drama anymore.

Carla:
LOL...yeah, an open invitation I guess. Tho I'm not sorry that I ignored the signals. Thanks for the affirmation. :)