Friday, October 14, 2005

Jasoba Fett Finally Eaten By Sandworms:
E-mail Overload Leads Zenfo Pro to (Probably) Dumb Conclusion

Okay. Deep breath. Wow.

Since apparently a portions of the small hamlet of Oxford and even smaller Miami bubble apparently read my blog, the Jasoba Fett profile image is gone. I figure there really isn't much point in protecting my identity locally anymore, since all semblance of that went right out the window a while ago.

I've replaced it with a real photograph of real, honest-to-god me. I found this image going through some old e-mails. My friend Jenny took this picture of me a few months ago. She thought it was pretty funny to snap a picture of me to capture my look of groggy annoyance at waking up to find my chest shaved.

In all reality, I do know better. I'm an iPro. I get paid to teach people that there really is no such thing as anonymity in cyberspace. I just had no clue how many lurkers out there there were. I've always been resistant to putting a hit counter up - I really don't think I want to know.

I got 24 e-mails as a result of the last few posts. This time, I responded to each one, thanking them for their interest in my site, answering various questions about my "status." (I'm still single, really not interested in planning for a relationship with this person, etc.) I have no clue why. What's so interesting to your average Miami student? Is it the fact that I had an image of a Star Wars character super-imposed over the Library of Congress Reading Room?


...Do you hang out with a bartender named [Jane Doe] at Mac and Joes (a local bar)? ...

...this girl is probably trouble. I'll bet she's your stereotypical Miami skank and you're just caught ip (sic) in her quest for her MRS degree...
(Thanks for the warning.) you think I'm cute?... (There was a photo attached.)
(I said yes, then asked why a first-year student needed a 27-year-old guy to tell her that.) sound like such an intelligent caring guy. I think you just need to watch out for girls around here though. And thanks for helping me with the paper last semester!...
(I thanked this guy for the shout-out.)

...Hey, were you sitting in front of Alumni Hall eating lunch and talking on your cell. I'm sorry for eavesdropping, but I realized you answered your phone saying this is Jason. Then I saw you in [MY] Library...
(I acknowledged yes and thanked her for her observations) talked to my class this week, didn't you? OMG! I knew it was you when you started talking about the digital divide! That's so awesome!...
(I thanked her for her interest in my research area.)

...Zenfo, I hear ya brother. That G guys right, dude. Watch out for those warning signs...[Writer's Ex] was like boning my roommate all last semester, bro. My best friend! Took her back, she did it again. These girls around here ain't worth shit. You can drink with me and my boys any time.
(I sent my sincerest regrets for his experiences, expressed my gratitude for the offer.) of my friends thinks you're a very nice guy...
(I said thanks.)

...Did you like hook up with some chick named brandi this summer...a friend of mine said she heard from somebody at the library that you and this chick were like a couple or something...
(Lord, that came out of left-field...I answered that I had heard- and dispelled - a similar, less sleazy sounding rumor this summer and that there is no truth to what her friend's friend's friends heard whatsoever.) you like work out at the Rec? You've gotten kind of buff. Hope this girl's worth it. Now that I know you are the same guy who's always on his cell phone at Kofenya...
(I thanked the girl for noticing. No, I don't. Just work out at home. And yes, I'm on my cell way too much.)

As you can see from the photograph, the Zenfo Pro is just a normal, kinda weird guy. I'm not Superman. I know there are some folks who think I lead some kind of exciting life. I'm pretty much a homebody. I like my quiet time. There's no stream of women in and out of my life. I don't live like Hugh Hefner. If you see me on the street, I don't bite. Just say hi. I'd like to think I haven't lost all of my people skills living in Oxford.

For whatever reason you find my blog interesting, thanks for reading. Especially the regular commenters here. You all have offered a lot of great ideas, sharing your voice and compassion across cyberspace. That's pretty bad ass in my book.


Anonymous said...

Yay! The photo looks so awesome! Wow, Oxford really is a boring place, huh? Mac and Joes was pretty cool, but that Brick Street place sucked donkey shit. Seemed cool when the students weren't there...'course, I was busy breaking the legs on your bed and drinking your Jamesons...

Ever get my scrunchie out of your window? And like I said I would've shaved more but your belt was a bitch and a half :O

You know who this fucking is so...

Kisses and other stuff ;P

Anonymous said...

This may be way off-topic, but did you grow up in Farmville? Did you go to Fuqua School? You look kind of like a guy I knew from there. I grew up in Rice, VA. I so recognize the face...did you ever hang out with a girl named Stewart, my cousin? I sent you an e-mail too this morning. Promise no asking abou your love life :-). I'm a grad student at UC and one of my colleagues e-mailed me the link (not too many Farm Vegas peeps here in Ohio).
Charlie (Charlotte)

The ZenFo Pro said...

Holy hell! There are more Farm Vegas people around here?!?! Small frigging world. I just got your e-mail and your IM too. Apologize - I'm always logged on and often forget to change my status. I'm a very proud graduate of PECHS - public school boy. I don't remember you, but its been 10 years since I've lived in Virginia. I grew up on a farm in Green Bay, near the Lunenburg County line.
And I do know a girl named Stewart! I hung out with her my junior and senior years, I think. Memory's very fuzzy from that period of my life. Glad to know she's happy, too. I sent you my contact information via e-mail. LOL...glad you recognized the Ice-T song, too.

KFigment said...

Humble you have always have been. I still don't think you realize the impact that you have on people. I don't think you understand how hard it is to be as real as you are when you realize how many people are watching. That is a gift and one that you have always used for good.

As far as the parade of women in and out of your life there have been a few. The one thing I will give you is that each on of them has had an impact on you. They have left the mark on your life that you can't erase and you respect it.

I was lucky enough to know you during the discovery days. Don't let those who need you now change the amazing man that you have become.

Love you always


Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

ha ha Weird. I guess it must be a pretty small place. I never really try to hide but I go to a large school in a large city so I am careful. It can be dangerous maybe more so for a girl. I was semi stalked on the internet a couple years ago and then again in ny when I first got here but in real life not internet. I proxy my ip but them someone emailed me and said there was enough information in my online stuff to find me.. i think ya have to be careful. Crazy people.
It would be weird to have people emailing me out of the blue saying aren't you the person i saw doing this or that. I could see you having a stalker.

My emails , thank god , are from crazies I don't know.

You seem to be very polite to these emailers. Good for you.

Anonymous said...

Jeebus. All I can say is, what the fuck, dude. I've read some empty-headed shit in my time, and written even more, but some of those emails ... geez, you'd think some people would have a life, you know?

Yeah, yeah, I know all those I'm talking about are reading this, too ... but come on, people ...

... though it is a good source of the head-shaking chuckle I need in the morning, I'll give it that. Just being honest here.

And yeah, Alice is right. You are remarkably polite to some of those, man. More than my capacity would allow - I am a bitch, after all. ;-)

Wonder how many you'll get off of this particular post of yours, what with the pic and all ... sigh ...

(nice pic, btw ... again, been there, but it wasn't my chest, it was, er, nevermind)

Peace bro,

The ZenFo Pro said...

Humble? Moi? I don't know if being real is necessarily a strength nowadays...even independence has been prepackaged down to clothing, reality shows, and other junk.

As for parade of women, were there for the "Hootchie" Phase...though discovery sounds so much more pleasant.
And thanks for the compliments. Amazing how time flies, huh? As for being a man, well, working on it ;-)

Yep. 22,000 folks in tiny Oxford, with roughly 14,000 students included in that. I can't go to the grocery store or local drug store without running into somebody I know or work with. This is actually the smallest town I've called home in, wow, nine years. I've lived in some strange college towns, but never in an area where there's virtually NO social or personal responsibility in the social scene. I talked with a senior a few weeks ago who'd had sex with 22 guys while traveling E.Europe this summer and hadn't had single orgasm in four years' of college. And that was her pick-up line! Jeez, I'm pretty dense when it comes to figuring out when a woman's interested in me, but I'm not looking for an STD. The e-mails, I guess, were a refreshing reminder that not every student/community resident is willing to disrespect themselves like that.

I think stalkers are always a problem, regardless of gender, but more physically dangerous for women. Still dangerous for guys, but often more in terms of manipulation.

Have been down the real-world stalker road as well...had a woman once call a news director of mine claiming she was the mother of my 10-year-old child (I was 20 at the time, making it statistically impossible.) She'd call into my broadcasts, read Bible verses. Creepy lady. And you're right - lots o' crazies out there...I'll be careful.

What the fuck is right! Its kind of part of the seedier side of 21st century life, I guess. Its easier to seek validation from a total stranger than to let yourself shine. I've met a handful of local readers - most of whom are lurkers - who've made the effort to contact me saying they simply enjoy writings. I really appreciate that.

As for being polite, well, comes from growing up in the South.

As for the shaving, yeah, I know. What's with women and the removal of hair from the male body? Is this some evolutionary holdover?

Morro Bay Wake Girl :o) said...

Um...I think I know why some people read your blog. Its pretty interesting and i think a lot more ppl can relate to a library guy than can to the usual drunken ramblings about who somebody hooked up with. and i can see why you get kids emailing you - my sister almost went to MUOH. i read the zenfo pro because its well thought out and you obviously care a lot more about humanity than you let on. Glad to see some Poly alums fighting the good fight! and KCPR totally rocks!