Sunday, July 17, 2005

The Zen of Heathers:

Or the beauty of Teen Angst Black Comedies

Watched Heathers this morning.Ahhh...the days when Winona Ryder was not a closet shoplifter and Christian Slater was the very definition of coolness. I'd forgotten how offensive, un-PC, and downright hilarious this flick was.

I thought the film wouldn't have any punch in the Post-Columbine world. A comedy about outcasts killing popular kids and the inane world of high school life for middle-class America shouldn't still be funny.

I felt bad about laughing at the "Fuck Me Gently with a chainsaw" line. I felt bad for about, oh, 10 seconds.

I had almost forgotten what a sick, twisted bastard I was when I was in high school because of this movie. I was the kid in flannel and combat books, short hair and ripped jeans. I was such an angry little cuss, mad at the world, full of testosterone and pent-up frustration. It sounds kind of silly in hind sight, but but, hey, everybody had issues as kids.

A list of some rather humorous quotes from the film:

"Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of swatchdogs and diet cokeheads. Killing Heather would be like offing the Wicked Witch of the West..wait east..west, God I sound like a fucking psycho."

" Grow up Heather, bulimia is so '87."

" I love my dead, gay son!"

"Thank you. That was my first game of strip croquet."
"Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count!"

"I've got no control over myself when I'm with J.D. Are we going to Prom or to hell?"

God, I miss those sadistic dark teen angst movies. They made me the sick and twisted bastard I am today.



Anonymous said...

I miss those sadistic comedies too. After dropping 8 bucks on Fantastic 4 this weekend, and 8 bucks on War of the Worlds last week, I really miss those movies.

Brian Carter

SexyBanker said...


I forgot how funny that movie is! I added it to the ol' Netflix cue along with St. Elmo's Fire.

I hate to admit it, but I was one of the Heathers in high school. I was my shool's homecoming queen as a matter of fact. And my honey (my husband of 15 wonderful years) was one of the geeks. When we were dating, that was one of our date movies.

Just passing by. Very entertaining blog. Yoour a very intelligent writer.

Lindsey, Cleveland